Avoiding Murphy

Murphy and Tail Chasing

2012-01-27T12:57:00.003-05:00

No, Murphy has not sprouted a tail. No, Murphy has not suddenly developed a taste for dogs...the tail in this post is purely metaphorical. I think by now you know I like an occasional metaphor and all those spiffy ellipses, also known as ... . But that be neither her nor there. For here be dragons - wait no, here be where I talk about a unusually unproductive Monday. I had a dreadful case of the Mondays this week. I got NOTHING DONE. I tried, I did. I sat down and Morpheus with the grandest intentions of getting stuff done. Then the phone rings.

"The whole universe is in a hot dense..." Said my phone.

"Um, Sondra, don't most phones go, ring ring?"

"Nope, not mine, mine has themes. My current theme is Big Bang Theory. You should hear it when a text comes in."

ANY HOW.

"The whole universe is in a hot dense..." Said my phone.

"Hello, " I say.

"Can you get my phone?" Says the voice at the other end.

"Where is it I say?"

It was not important where the voice said it was for it was not there. It was not on the floor by there, it was not any where near there...It was NOT anywhere I was. And I said so. I said so multiple times but the voice at the other end of this day long conversation was certain I was mistaken. So I wasted all day looking for a phone that was NOT even in my county. Turns out that phone was in a completely different county. But sometimes that doesn't matter, because regardless of what the frustration started out as it becomes something totally different by the end of the ordeal.

By that I mean, I GOT NOTHING DONE. I did get to drive around aimlessly, which in the summer with my top down would have been fine, but it is winter and I am driving a tiny lil Geo beater car because my beloved, yet aged, convertible has a window issue that needs resolved.

The tail chasing was not confined to the phone issue, I had a myriad of tiny unscheduled errands and annoyances that day. I finally gave up

"Yea, Sondra, you are a stubborn one sometimes. Getting you to give up has become one of my favorite challenges. I really enjoy it when you stomp your foot or even more when I get the double foot stomp. That actually is a jump not a stomp. Either way - I WIN!"

"Shut up, Murphy, I am still a tad cranky about Tail Chase Monday."

"But, I went to such effort to hide that phone in the strangest place I could find and everything."

"LA La la la la."

"Oh, now that is childish."

"Did anyone hear that? I thought I heard a buzzy noise."

Murphy on Facebook... be back later

2012-01-18T22:59:00.000-05:00

Before you all think Murphy and I have given up blogs for our more time friendly snippets on Avoiding Murphy on FaceBook let me lay your fears to rest with a resounding....NO, because well....

While Facebook is fun, a blog is really the only way to give Murphy the attention that he requires, the attention that keeps him from doing things like breaking my grocery bags in the garage there by sending things rolling under my car, just for giggles of course.

I probably have something to blog about, I am sure Murphy has done something lately worthy of me spending time pecking at this keyboard... I am sure he has. I am certain he has but I have been so busy that I cannot remember a single one.

"This is really not something you should say in my presence, Sondra."

"Is it too late to knock on wood?"

"Yup."

Great, let me rephrase.

I am sure that I will have a ton to blog about very soon. As soon as Murphy has a chance to finish planning and laying in supplies and support personnel. So just so you don't get bored until then you should go visit your Facebook timeline. I had a chance to revisit some of my old Facebook post thanks to that lovely new timeline and got to relive some of my more Murphylicious posts.

I bet if you all dig through your time lines you can see where Murphy visited you too.

"I am starting to franchise out. Soon Murphys will be EVERYWHERE!"

"It already feels like you are EVERYWHERE!'

Murphy and 50 reasons to NOT date a Graphic Designer...

2011-12-28T18:11:00.000-05:00

... And 4 Reasons NOT to Date the Original Author of this List.

I just read this and couldn't help but add my 2 cents. I am an alumni of the "NOT All or Anything or 1 Type of Thing Is Ever the Same School of Thought."

"What about identical twins?"

"Fine, Murphy, I concede that Identical twins are the same .... on the outside but they can have vastly different personalities."

"Noted."

I found this on a blog I was directed to from a link on facebook, who was cousins to another link on facebook that a friend of mine once clicked...yea you get the idea.

originally from this blog my comments are in magenta, because I like it that way and yes, that is probably because I am among MANY other things a Graphic Designer
******************************************************** * * *

50 reasons not to date a graphic designer

1. They are very weird people. I prefer unique
2. There are billions of them in the world, like colors on the screen of your computer. and we are each wonderfully different...and there are probably not billions.

3. They will analyse conversations in layers. We like layers, we work in layers, we do not all like layer cake.

4. You will spend the day assembling furniture from IKEA. I prefer antiques. Though lack of quality for the ages aside, they have wonderfully simple lines.

5. They drink and eat all kinds of weird shit just because they like the packaging. I DO NOT, eat or drink weird shit. I MAY buy something because I like the packaging.

6. They hate each other. I hate very few people... just hope you are not one of them I do hate.

7. You’ll come out the last out of the movies because you have to see the full list of credits. They hide cool stuff in the credits.

8. They cant change a light bulb or without making a sketch. I can too, I also work off the cuff on more stuff than I bet you ever thought of working on.

9. They **** up all the tables with their cutters. NO I DON'T! I use a mat

10. They rather study the paisley pattern on your outfit than listen to what you have to say. Why would you wear paisley? They probably weren't studying the paisley as much as they were trying to figure out why the devil anyone would wear paisley on purpose.

11. They will fill your house with magazines and whatever is out there that has drawings. And then bookmark it on your computer... because we can.

12. You never know if it is really an original or a copy. But it always looks good.

13. They make collages with your photos. Only if you have good photos.

14. They do not know how to add and subtract, they just understand letters. So... can you draw?

15. They idolize people who nobody knows and speak of them as if they were his colleagues. I do not idolize anyone.

16. They take pictures almost daily and all are cut in weird shapes. Because you don't like us cutting up YOURS!

17. They ask your opinion about everything but they do whatever they want. We want you to feel needed?

18. Everything is left justified, right or center unless they arrive late. placement is important and why are we late?

19. They hate Comic Sans with the same passion they love Helvetica. Comic Sans is lame
20. They use iPhone for everything, because everyone has one. I don't iAnything.

21. You can not decorate the house without consulting them. Perhaps because you have no taste?

22. They steal street signs. I have not, milk crates yes, street signs no.

23. Always carry their hands painted with something. HUH?

24. They buy dolls unfinished for them to paint. Do NOT

25. Everything becomes something other than what it really is: cards as tickets, cards as …Yea... and it looks cool too.

26. When arguing, you will be nicknamed like the OSX spinning wheel (not affectionately) um sure...

27. Do not know how to dress without consulting the Pantone book. Do not, but I do watch color trending for design. I wear black.

28. They hate Excel. Excel forces you to think inside MANY boxes not just THE box.

29. They read comics. At least we can read.

30. They want to save the world only with a poster. A good poster can move the world.

31. You will spend the day brainstorming. So?

32. On vacation they will take you to countries that you do not know exist and have no beach. You should study geography more?

33. Museums are their second home. What is wrong with that?

34. They know more positions than the Kamasutra. You have a problem with that?

35. They can’t go to a restaurant without secretly critiquing the menu design. or the sign, the lamps, the choice of flat ware, the lady next you's shoes, the waiters hair cut...what you are wearing....because you are prone to paisley apparently.

36. They listen to music you have never heard of. Once again... branch out more.

37. They can´t cook a normal dish, they always have to experiment with new ingredients. Nope I don't mess with my food.

38. They read rare books: stories of children, Semiotics … I think this person has issues with intellectual things... I bet they read romance novels.

39. When you are going to tell you something, everyone has read it in their facebook and twitter. I believe we have a case of the messed up pro noun here.

40. They have own iPods before you knew they existed. Please refer to my comment on #20

41. The orgasm they remember is when they heard that Adobe was acquiring Macromedia. No, that is so not true.

42. They have their own shops just for them and there are the most expensive in the city. Bitter much?

43. They want to spend all the money in the Apple Store. New Egg, refer to item # 20

44. You will never understand their gifts. Who doesn't understand a Nerf Gun?

45. They see ordinary objects and laugh. And I bet we laugh at you.

46. You wake up in the middle of the night hearim them screaming “When is the deadline?” Deadlines are a lil scary at night.

47. They see CMYK and RGB like Neo sees the Matrix. so?

48. They dream of the day nobody will make a single change to their designs. Someday

49. They rather pay for a font than for a special birthday gift. Once again... BITTER?

50. They are always sleepy because they work 24/7. Yea... a whole lot of bitter going on here.

From 50 reasons not to date a graphic designer | a bourbon for silvia via the Design Forums

3 Reasons Not to Date the Person Who Wrote This List:

1.They are BORING.
2.They whine.
3.They obsess way too much.

"And, I think you hate the person who wrote this."

"I don't hate them...I would never talk to them...they aren't interesting enough for me to HATE them."

"Oh...that is worse."

Epiphanies and Inevitability

2011-12-21T21:55:00.000-05:00

Epiphanies and Inevitability... musings during a drive.

The Epiphany came to me this morning...

"It was last week."

"Well, I started this last week."

"It was last week."

"Fine."

The Epiphany came to me last week while getting my daily power up. Yes, you heard me, a power up like in Super Mario Brothers. I require a certain amount of carbonated caffeine of the sugar free Coke Zero variety to propel me toward productivity. But back to the epiphany. It came to me that there is a direct coloration between the number and intensity of a teen girls highlights to the degree of disregard she has for those around her. The more highlights and the greater the shade disparity from her base hair color the greater her self importance becomes. Now let us not get this confused with confidence. I am talking sheer, unbridled narcissistic tendencies. I was told that the same holds true for the amount of fur on their UGG boots. (which by the way are aptly named...ugggggly)

The Inevitability came while driving north up State Road 5 on my way to Ucky Portage Indiana, Ucky because of they way my caffeine is treated there. I was driving up towards Ucky Portage upon a predominately double yellow ridden two lane road. The Inevitability is that a mini van will pull out in front of me and drive 45 miles and hour. I really hate when that happens.

The rest of the drive was drive like... and I didn't spill my caffeine... and Murphy was well behaved.

"I was, wasn't I?"

"Yes, Murphy you were remarkably well behaved."

"I am going to have to step up my game."

"Great."

Murphy and Black Friday

2011-11-29T18:48:00.001-05:00

"Sondra, Christmas is Sunday. Today is Wednesday. WE HAVE NO TREE. WE HAVE NO COOKIES. WE HAVE NOTHING WRAPPED UNDER THE NOT- THERE- TREE! What is up with you?"

"Well, Murphy. I just haven't felt like the Holidays this year."

"Does that mean I have to suffer?"

"Hey, do NOT go there...payback, baby, payback. If you will excuse me I have a Black Friday post that is over due to launch."

So... Murphy and Black Friday, slightly stale:

**************************************************

"Murphy, did you enjoy Black Friday this year?"

"Why, yes I did, Sondra. Did you?"

"It was OK... I have had worse, I have had better."

By having had worse, I mean it has been sub arctic and rainy for two days and my tent could no longer hold it out. By better I mean it has been 70 degrees and people were playing football in shorts in the parking lot. Weather wise this fell in the middle a little bit cooler than expected but dry. Event wise, barring the flooded tent year this one was pretty darn good with a few exceptions.

Please note that Murphy and I arrived tent and sleeping bags and such in tow at approximately 4 pm on Wednesday to await the opening of Best Buy at 12am on Friday morning. We arrived to one tent already pitched but unoccupied.

List of exceptions in order of appearance:

Tent 1- obviously
Conspiracy Ted - Hey, I will be back later with my tent...blah blah blah... (me: oh hell, not you again)
Tent 1 Place Holder Occupants x2 - Hi, we are your neighbors and we are gonna run in the store and be back in a while. (me...ok, but didn't you just come out of the store?)
Malfunctioning Cup: Self explanatory.
Redneck Tech - just wait for it.
Tent 1 Mamma - you are gonna have to wait for this one too, because yea.... ya just are.
Guy Who Used to Live in His Mom's basement but now lives in his wife's. - just imagine Howard from Big Bang without the cool.
Conspiracy Ted's Son - I think he was waiting on something R rated to happen at Witchie's Playhouse.- yea it wasn't.

Add to this mix an assortment of family and friends that make appearances and such through out the 32 (I think) hour adventure.

It turns out that many retailers were going to start their joyous Black Friday festivities at 12 am Friday vs 5 am Friday. That in turn required me to set my camp out ahead that many hours. Normally I show up about 10am -12pm on Thanksgiving day, there by being sure to upset my family in a spectacular fashion but if you are moving stuff 5 hours a head that means I must go 5 hours earlier.... and I am NOT getting up at 4 am to drive to best buy to set up a tent at 5am...so I say self. Lets get a decent nights sleep in the tent and leave town about 9pm on Wednesday.

Then I watch the news. There is already at tent at best buy...since TUESDAY?! ...OH HELL...pack, pack, pack ...drive, drive, drive.

And at 4:10 pm on Wednesday afternoon I set up camp behind tent #1 while I am setting up my tent I am greeted by two lovely young men who had just exited Best Buy and then introduce themselves as my tent neighbors and tell me they are just holding tent space for their mom, who happens to be paying them by the way, to man the tent. I am also informed by them that they are going back in the store to check something out. Please note I don't see them again till much, much later.

My parents come visit and then they go in buy some stuff which I cannot talk about because ...it is a secret. They then come back visit some more. But while they were inside buying the secret stuff, I hear a voice saying well hello again, I look up and it is Conspiracy Guy.

"Conspiracy Guy?"

"Yes, Murphy we met him a year or two ago."

Definition of Conspiracy Guy: A shopper mostly concerned about who is in line, where they are in line, what they are buying and if they are going to line jump or impede his purchasing power plays. And how many times he can talk to the manager. He knows him by name because he visits him ALL THE TIME.

As a rule my stance on this is that, I don't care....you are here before me ok...go you.

Conspiracy Guy says, "I will be back later, save me a spot." and then leaves to go home, I presume to eat hot food.

"We aren't gonna save him a spot are we, Sondra?"

"Nope, Murphy, we aren't. We don't wanna be by Conspiracy Guy, he will talk to us."

In the mean time my parents come back out and I get to go inside Best Buy for the first of many trips to visit the restroom. By the way it is a very nice Best Buy, Jefferson Pointe in Fort Wayne, Indiana and they have a great staff and very nice restrooms.

But yea... I set up shop and am sitting crocheting arm warmers and when I am visited by another friend who brings me a nice cup of hot cocoa which pees on me... a lot... repeatedly.

"Did you like what I did to the cup?"

"No, not really, thanks anway."

"Oh come on it was fun and warm."

Yea so while I was ignoring Murphy and chatting to my friend another group shows up and the very first thing ....

Redneck Tech, "Hi, I am a certified computer tech."

Me to myself .... and? I also look over at my friend who is equally impressed.

It went down hill from there.... um he was gonna buy a $179 Lenovo and sell it for I don't remember what but I am pretty sure he said something like I can get $600 for it... and the last thing I really remember him saying was something disparagingly about my lovely video card.

From that point forth I didn't care if he was attacked and used for Zombie Family Thanksgiving dinner... or got run over by a reindeer. You don't say mean things about a girls video card.

Re enter Conspiracy Guy, turns out he is Conspiracy Ted, and Redneck Tech start chatting. I am visited by another friend, Katie, a girl from Robotics, oh and was visited earlier by Cole also from robotics...I had robo-vistiors all day and such.

But while I was chatting to Katie and CT was chatting with RT, the Best Buy folks come out and say while pointing to tent 1, "Yea you guys can move that tent those people haven't been in it all day."

And then CT and RT say, "Hells yea." I am taking some liberty here they did not say that... but they thought it.

I look at Katie and say, "this is not going to end well...."

The tent gets moved by the CT-RT collective and the collective says, "move your tent up."

I say, "no."

And about ten minutes later Mama Tent 1 comes back and says, "Who moved my tent?"

Then Conspiracy Ted chimes in, "blah blah blah Best Buy blah blah."

MT1, "Oh hells NO." I am pretty sure she did say that.

Next thing I know CT is going for the Best Buy Manager and yea... and there are dirty looks everywhere and I am thinking yea...this isn't gonna end well.

So yea... the Mamma T clan and the CT/RTcollective are snarly and at some point Robo Kids and I gained heat and a pop up awning and some tarps and constructed a warm lil thing I dubbed Witchie's Playhouse.

And we the Robo faction just hid in there from that point forth. I had some visitors from the RT faction who were very nice during their visit in the Playhouse. 11 pm hit and all the robo kids had gone home for the night and I decided to go to sleep, unfortunately the folks in RT camp decided it was time to buy a tent and put it up and then the rest of the night to spend driving their very NOISY van around. I finally got to sleep at 3 am when my darling eldest decided to call me from her car.

Gracie said, "Hi,Blah blah, something about Binkly Rd. Blah and blah."

I said,"Huh?" and then I think I snarled.

I tried to go back to sleep....yea no. I get up at 6 am and go visit Wal-Mart to brush my teeth and buy a paper.

"You needed a paper at 6 am?"
"No, I needed sale ads at 6 am."

With sale ads safely in my possession I went back to the playhouse and went to sleep until about 10 or 11 or so...dunno... it doesn't matter because I was there till midnight anyway and the tent was warm.

At some point my child and her friend came to camp and we had
Thanksgiving dinner. Later that day some frat types came and had
a tale-gate party, complete with a BBQ grill. We were then visited off and on by Conspiracy Ted, Conspiracy Ted's Son, Basement Boy and others including more robo kids. I managed to wear more hot chocolate, we managed to have a hot chocolate river and many other
things occurred which I have either forgotten or blocked from my memory....

" You forgot about Conspiracy Ted's son all but moving into the Playhouse on Friday, Sondra."

"Oh, sorry. But we did have food and caffeine."

"That is NO excuse."

At some point and I don't honestly remember when, the news visited, they started visiting early in the day with the first blood going to the radio station, who talked to a witch for a while before drifting away and then channel 55 took a tour of the Playhouse but while channel 21 was interviewing Tent 1, Murphy thought it would be the bestest time to try to fly the awning of the Playhouse over to tent 1 while they were on camera. Yea I could have lived without this section of activity just fine. I like to stay in the shadows for the most part.

As 10 pm neared, that was the magic Best Buy Tickets time. You get a voucher that allows you to buy the much coveted big draw door buster items. You get those at 10 pm. These folks wanted tickets too but they hadn't gotten there quite as early as I did...or those in Tent 1 even though I am pretty sure they cheated a lot by NOT BEING IN TENT 1 the entire wait time.

Long story short, I got my stuff.

"Sondra, do you really do this to buy stuff?"

"HELLS NO! I am in it for the game."

Murphy and Dark Gooey Centers

2011-11-17T13:19:00.001-05:00

Yesterday was a Murphypalooza ...it had little booths, an occasional concert, crowds of annoying hipsters standing in the way of everyone while trying to be cool and instead looking like a page out of the JCPenney catalog. You get the idea.... This event was underwritten by my Dark Gooey Center.

"Is the Dark Gooey Center like the Kennedy Center for Performing Arts?"

"No, Murphy, it is more like what is in the center of ...well, you know the Bermuda Triangle..kinda like that but no one has ever been lost in it."

Any way, Murphy got added energy yesterday from the over flow from My Dark Gooey Center. I was spun up tighter than a top and trying to hold it together like the first performance of an all girl punk band.... And Murphy RAN with it... Everything I touched exploded, imploded went pear-shaped or... shook the metaphorical pears out of some metaphorical tree.

"I could see the sparks shooting from you yesterday, Sondra, was I supposed to ignore that?"

"I know...I don't blame you... It happens."

For instance-

Location: the stove.
Cast: a casserole dish, some cauliflower concoction, the oven and a tea kettle.

Being a spinny unspun top in the kitchen is not really good... especially when you are in your lil thinking place in your head and you are about to put a moderately heavy casserole dish in a very hot oven...and someone comes in (under normal circumstances I am pretty jumpy. Do some math and add this to that) my interior self does a back flip causing the casserole dish to do a nose dive into the oven...where there were french fries were minding their own business, keeping warm.

So yea, I had to clean the oven, oddly most of the cauliflower stayed in the dish. I extracted some off the innocent french fries and tossed the victims in the trash but yea...end game - I had to clean the oven and that is ok, no one died.

Enter tea kettle

As I was cleaning up the kitchen and by proxy the stove top. I have to take all the grates off the stove top to clean it and a red tea kettle sits atop the grates autumn through spring because a witch gets cold and needs hot chocolate. Some how during the act of taking the tea kettle off the grate and success lies a place where Murphy throws the tea kettle into the tile wall causing it to go careening off the trash can onto the floor and then the plastic handle SHATTERS. In other news the tea kettle died.

All I wanted was dinner and a clean stove... (please note - I do not eat cauliflower)

But yea that was yesterday's Murphypalooza big concert. Booths included how to trip going down a hall, Fun with mascara, Places to keep oil besides in their bottles....yea great event, you should go there some time.

Now before you all misunderstand me, The DGC is part of a witch and she is good with that. It keeps her from buying brightly colored clothes and filling her jewelry box with the accessory of the moment... it also explains Memnoch the Demon Baby and Damion the Bunny....and the rest of the studio friends....or fiends.

Not to mention every artist worth their salt has something dark and not quite right tucked away inside to draw on....right? So if once every few months she has to let the over flow out, play some loud music and drink a bit more than one really should on a Wednesday night - so be it... it is for a good cause.

"So, Sondra, when is the next big show?"

"I dunno Murphy, what does your calendar look like?"

"I think end of February looks good."

Murphy and Live Music

2011-11-15T20:34:00.001-05:00

Recently I took a weekend trip to the city, the one where my eldest is going to college, to visit with her and some friends...For those of you who read this regularly, you know where that is, for those that don't please imagine your favorite city... I am big on imaginary things anyway... so pink striped skies are permissible.

"Pink is nice..."

"So is good music, Murphy."

"Good is subjective, Sondra. Some people enjoyed the music."

SO anyway.... this is the first time I have traveled in this particular place solely dependent on public transportation... so it changed the wheres I went and such so t'was a bit of an adventure for a witch...and a witch does like adventures and as it turns out public transportation.

A friend of mine turned me on to a website that showcased local bands for this region and after some looking around, my travel companions and I chose to go to the Hideout. They had a website...said they had had a long history of music blah blah freaking blah....so yea 4 bands playing....go dog go. We take the redline a few sidewalks and an alley....to get

HERE

Here is a house turned bar/venue with cheap wood paneling like in someones basement, stuffed freaking fish- one of which followed you around with it's eyes and a rocking horse. Little did we know that the decor was going to be the best part of the venue.

" Be nice, Sondra, I went to a lot of trouble to put this show together and that one tall skinny guy's band was good."

"Yes, Murph, 1 out of 4....so they were at 25%.... FAIL."

"But, But, But...that one girl liked em ALL."

"I am sure that wasn't the first thing she had LIKED that day.

So yea...the music

Let me preface this with the fact that we apparently picked the night of some local punk rocker's 40th birthday to visit the Hideout. That was not a good thing.

Opening act.... an all girl punk band formed by the old punk guy. They could not play their instruments, they could not hold it together with a belt... they could not hold it together with a zip tie or a zip lock bag. They also couldn't sing well enough for punk...does this tell you ANYTHING? The release of this band to the public was worse than Microsoft releasing Vista.

The only thing to come out of that set-besides damage to a witch's musical sensibilities was one phrase....YUM YUM PANCAKE, YUM YUM BAKE SALE. I have no idea why that lyric was even being uttered but it did stick with us.

Next up, I think it was next, I could be wrong on the order because it was very traumatic and there was alcohol involved this weekend...thankfully.

"Sondra - BE NICE."
"NO."

The next set was good...remarkably good considering what we had just been through. Thank you, Thin Man. Our hopes for musical solace were restored...

Thin Man

Up next came a group of kids that looked like they might be able to at least play their instruments. They started what I think was playing .... yes, our hopes had been restored...

... only to be dashed on the floor and stomped on by combat boots.

"Don't you have a pair of combat boots, Sondra?"

"I do, but I do not stomp on peoples hopes with them, Murphy."

"I really doubt that."

"HEY...err ...ummm... OH, never mind...you are right."

Then to make matters far, far, far worse... out comes aging punk guy. He was wrapped in the city flag and a pair of cheap vinyl pants two sizes too small, much like the Grinch's heart. Oh yea and no shirt, and it was at that point I can recall nothing of the music because of the trauma caused by this and his muffin top.

Finally, the band we came for.... came out on stage, well aged, probably good musicians who could competently and wonderfully entertain us...

Wait for it....

If they had NOT decided to play PUNK rock music this night.

"Tell em about the girl."

OH yea...through this entire debacle there was a woman, who may have been on another planet listening to music I obviously was not hearing and she was happily dancing with her beer bottle. There was speculation on the amounts and types of illegal substances she had consumed to achieve this oblivious state. There was also I am sure thoughts at whether or not she would share.

We left at some point, I do not recall what point. I mean I like punk music...normally....not then, not in the hands of those people... NO...just no.

Let the record show that Murphy let up on us Saturday night because we chanced upon the best tiny and I mean minuscule building just around the corner from where we stayed that had the BEST blues I have heard live, ever. Unfortunately one of Murphy's relatives must have designed the venue because I am pretty sure you are not supposed to put that many people in one place at one time... especially if a witch is claustrophobic...which a witch is...so yea...Thanks to my party mates for taking pity on an overwhelmed witch and extracting her from the mass of humanity... and thank you Hard Rock for a couple of attempts at recreating the most wonderful drink on the planet...when we couldn't remember what went into it. Just in case you wanna try...

FRESH CITRUS LEMONADE~ABSOLUT® Citron Vodka, Finest Call Sweet & Sour,
Monin® Agave Nectar and fresh lemon,
topped with Sierra Mist®.

...and god knows I want to try it again.... and the weekend too but without the Hideout.

"Murphy, keep ya chaotic mitts of my music- ok?"

"NO."

Murphy and Facebook Ads

2011-11-08T11:44:00.002-05:00

I am as pro AD as anyone can get really, considering my roots as a Commercial Artist. A Commercial Artist is an artist who likes to eat and have a bed to sleep in that isn't someone else s couch. Not that the Fine Artists are bad...I do have a BFA (Bachelor of FINE Art) degree after all. I just am not put together that way. I like deadlines and clients and projects....they make me giddy.

"Deadline and Project - Ranting about FB ADs due NOW."

"Thanks, Murphy, I needed a lil redirect there."

"No Problem, Sondra, sometimes I like helping that doesn't involve comedy."

Yes, I like ADs as much as or probably more than most. I watch commercials, well most of them, because I like them. I peruse magazines to look at the print ADs, they show design trends. And while I am not a slave to fashion....I do keep an eye to the current design trends. BUT...

Dear Facebook,

If I lose 47 lbs. in two weeks, if I lose 47 lbs. at all, I will be in the hospital or at least in big trouble with my doctor. Speaking of doctor types, I also have no desire to be an ultrasound technician. I didn't even have an ultrasound with my two kids...what makes you think I want to do them for a living.? I also don't buy people colored toilet paper for gifts. (I am not entirely sure who would) Also showing an AD for "Single men looking for faithful women" might be a miss step in demographics considering my marital status. Oh and yea, I have never smoked, (unless of course I am on fire) so I have no need for Doctor Oz to help me stop unless of course I am on fire and he has a blanket or a bucket of water....

On of many views of my FB ADs

But WAIT - That is not ALL!

"Are there some fancy knives?"

"No BUT... I did like something they did."

I like that you, Dear Facebook, let me hide an AD and then let me tell you why I hid it.....and even better then offer to direct me to a page that allows me to choose the types of ADs I view on my FB page. I don't mind the ADs because it is a free service and as such must support itself. And I applaud your steps to make them relevant to my needs there by honing in on my demographic and upping your advertisers chances of the AD paying off... Brilliant.

So what started out as a rant is actually a lesson on how to advertise properly. Giving us a choice of product types...absolutely inspired. I do not say this often but KUDOS to you FB..... I "like" this.

"Ya know, Murphy, Tiger Direct's Black Friday Ad....good choice on their part."

"True, Sondra, considering how often you buy stuff for my name sake and Morpheus...and those two downstairs with the names I cannot remember..and I think I might like colored toilet paper."

"No."

Murphy and Halloween.

2011-11-03T00:20:00.003-04:00

Murphy and Halloween... yea not a good combo for a witch. Not a good combo for anyone in Huntington. Weather.com had assured me, my weatherman agreed....Intellicast said it was likely that a witch would have clear skies on October 31, 2011. That of course was on October 30 th at 11:59 pm. October 31 arrived with blue skies and sunshine and a witch was happy.

Yes, Weather.com had assured me, my weatherman agreed....Intellicast said it was likely that a witch would have clear skies on October 31, 2011 but Murphy said otherwise.

"I do have a little pull with Mother Nature."

"Shut up Murphy, I am still.not talking to you. "

"Wow someone got off the wrong side of the broom today."

So anyway, at 11 am the skies were clear and since I had already done the basic Halloween decorating the day/month before I felt that a 1 pm start on the outside haunting with an end time of 3 would give me enough time to bathe,do my hair and make up, then put on my witchly finery... So I wash my hair and put all the curl tamer products in and head out to resupply my toddler cauldron of goodies. (it had been wiped out by the previous night T or T festivities) I drive out my garage and up the street...and it starts sprinkling. By the time I reach Kroger for my annual bottle of post Halloween wine, it is FLAT OUT POURING. And it continues to pour until 3 pm.

A witch has a giant six foot plus foot tall coffin, made out of cardboard -

"Corrugated."

"Shut it Murphy, I know it is corrugated, leave me alone."

Yea, I have this CARDBOARD coffin that cannot be rained on let alone put on wet ground, I have a Fortune Teller set up that uses a DVD player and TV and lexan and a whole litany of wires and extension cords and prayers to deities unknown by the general population.... but also not water friendly. I am in a panic as I watch the skies hoping for a miracle.

I pull up the lying weather.com and the lying intellicast.com and find that the rest of Indiana is dry. It only raining on the place that a witch lives.

"Yes, I am just THAT good."

" SHUT UP MURPHY!"

The rain ends and I put down plastic and argue the giant coffin out of the house, under the fish line holding up the skeleton display and set him upright on a piece of black plastic I placed on the ground... then I decided I should put the red light in and make it glow out the seams, because that really looks cool in the dark....

"I like to play with lights too."

"Did you hear something?"

The light fixture had other ideas.... Imagine a witch with her feet sticking out the top of a prone coffin wresting to get a light fixture to rest flat on the bottom.... The neighbor across the street didn't have to imagine, no he had a front row seat to the comedy of the season. It got there though and it did look good.

Next project - Fortune Teller.
Next pain in the witchie's neck - Fortune Teller.

A huh, you guessed it...Murphy strikes again. I will just make a list and save the typing for another day.

1. DVD player 1 won't open
2. TV for the Fortune Teller turns on but no one is home.
3.Cannot find the DVD or crystal ball for the Fortune Teller

4.Go on long treasure hunt for DVD, DVD Player and Spare TV and crystal ball.

And with less than 45 minutes till my parents arrive and I have to get ice for the fog chiller .....yea a long list here too. I rush inside to get witchied up and and ready to roll at 5:25 and rush out the door for fog chiller ice and Halloween 2011...which goes without a hitch...until clean up when I dump candle wax all down the front of my lovely wool cloak, which now I have to un-wax...

And so ends Hallowpalooza 2011.

Oh and one more thing.

"SHUT UP MURPHY!'

Murphy and It's Not Just To Be Difficult.

2011-10-18T16:46:00.001-04:00

This started out to be an update on my hair adventures. But itoccurred to me that this went deeper than my hair. I have a need to marchto my own drummer.... I wear five different earrings always in silver andalmost always the same five unless I lose one, which I do. I wear themno matter were I go....to the store, to a club, to the grocery, in the tub.....

"Channeling Dr. Seuss much?"

"Let me work here, Murphy....I don't bother you when youwork."

"No, but you would like to."

Anyway. The fact remains when you wear something so long youtend to lose it... Occasionally one shows back up in an unexpected place ayear later and much joy ensues. This phenomena goesbeyond my earrings to most of my jewelry. I don't were conventional jewelry. If it is sold en mass, I don't want it. I like old pieces or pieces witha vintage flair for dress and business but day to day, I wear crystals or rough gemstones or stones in bead or chip form on leather or black cord and usually inmultiples. (usually with witchlyundertones)

I don't know why this is... maybe it is the custom on the world Ifell here from.

My clothes are 90% vintage and thrift store finds and clearancesale items basically because most regular retails finds bore me... andthey are cheaply made. Why spend $50 for a meh, cheaply made skirt from aDepartment store with no details and is ill fitting when I can buy abeautifully lined silk blend skirt with attention to detail and a wonderful fitthat was originally from a designer shop for I don't know how much and then can be gotten at a thrift store for $4. And thebest part about Thrift and Vintage, it fits my creative business style, my needfor pre broken in Levi's and my love for soft faded t-shirts.

It is like buying a car brand new ....the moment you drive it off thelot you LOSE money, same thing with clothes... cut the tag off lose 75% do notpass go do not collect anything but lint.

However all bets are off for shoes and boots, although I do waitfor sales and almost always buy leather unless of course they are chucks. I love a good pair of shoes....and have an undying passion for well madeboots.

which brings me to my latest giddy girl find. And for once,I found it in my little fashion stunted piece of Indiana.

My natural alignment of slightly offcenter extends to my choice of almost everything. I eat like a toddler,

I don't drive a mini van on principlealone, the convenience be damned.I like my friends to be smart, I don't care what they drive, where they live....as long as they can reason their way out of a paper bag,(as long as it is in an interesting way of course), I dress like I want, regardless of what thegirl next to me thinks is fashionable. I know what works for a witch and I amstickin to it...

"I think you are just hard to getalong with on purpose."

"I am not hard to get along withMurphy,. I am just hard for anyone else to shop for."

So any way....

This brings me to the original purpose ofblogging today.... A new hair adventure. I replaced my beloved berry redwith a shiny new coppery gold, because I want to wash my hair in warm water forthe winter....and take hot showers. So while I may suffer from some of myother choices.... I NEED TO BE WARM.

Original Berry Redthat was moved to the current location the next month that was wash in cold icewater only.

the new coppery gold,wash in warm water OMG that is heaven new color.

and looks like Ihave two different pig tails when I do the style above.

So yea, I could have regular hair withregular high lights or regular hair that was easy to touch the roots up withor... I can be me.

"Sondra, you aren't gonna break outin Karaoke vocals now are you ?"

"God No, Murphy, I don't do Karaokeunless I am drinking and then... I am picky about the songs...."

Murphy and the Temptation to Write Sci-Fi

2011-10-13T12:22:00.001-04:00

Murphy and the Temptation to Write Sci-Fi...

and the temptation to type it ScyFi.

I had a dream...

"Sondra, I have seen your dreams and you should NOT be typingthose things here!"

"No worries, Murph, no worries."

Let me rephrase. I had a child friendly dream that if Icould or wanted to could write about in the Science Fiction genre. It would be one hell of ajumping off point. But I write about too smart for their own good kidsand talking socks...and the occasional chicken dancing ballet....with pigs...and other equally disturbing things. Fact is I do not write Sci-Fi.

However I really wanted to share this because yea, I had to.

Let me give you a context.

The human population of my part of the world or possibly theentire earth was compromised beyond repair, be it alien invasion, zombie twofor one sale at the hospital.... over zealous right wing conservatives...GlobalWarming ....I dunno, but there was a large group of us hell bent to leaveDodge.

I was set to leave but there was the $50K question- do I take thespace shuttle with my family (please note I was no longer a grown up with afamily of my own I was college age, lets get this lfe started me) or theSuperfunkadelicIhavenocluewhatitdoesplane with my friends. I had chosenthe SuperFunk Plane and was going to say my good byes to my family because whoknows where we were going to meet up later considering the vehicles involved soI am getting ready to head out the door and down the stairs when...

"Hey, Who is that guy and what does he have in hishand?"

"I don't know Murphy, he looks a little wild around the eyesdoesn't he?"

"That he does and -"

Bright light ensues... like blinding flash type ala StephenKing....or Lost or yea...NOT GOOD.

Next thing you know the SuperFunk Plane is transported into afield of I am hoping non people eating grass. The group of bewilderedtravelers, all in hopes of not being eaten by something like the children of thecorn...or zombies or... some fat guy...makes its way into....

1960 something Dodge. And no one thinks it odd a large group ofpeople come walking into town with bags. And we have no trouble finding jobsand homes ooooh yea one more thing. Our cell phones work.

So yea... why would our cell phones work in the 1960's?

"Because you are an artist and you write kids books....whereNOTHING has to make sense."

"No really, Murphy, Cell phones need towers, and towers needcell phone companies....and it is 19Flipping60Something! My money is on somevirtual reality or holodeck in the style of Captain Picard and I am soconfused....something ain't right, baby."

Can we get Warehouse 13 in here?

So yea... welcome to my head... If you wanna use this warped little nugget, let me know... I will help with character development and such. Hell, Murphy might get involved too, he loves helping me write.

"The delete key and I are close friends,"

"Oh Murphy, don't forget when you talk the cats into playing on the power strips."

"OOOOOH, yea and when I corrupt your software, I really like doing that..."

"I am getting ready to start working again after Halloween, Murphy, could you think about taking a vacation for a few weeks?"

"No."

Murphy and Portage Indiana

2011-09-19T20:39:00.000-04:00

Murphy and Portage, Indiana.

I don't know how Murphy feels but as far as a witch is concerned Portage, Indiana is good for three things....

1) A way in and out of Indiana via Lake Michigan provided you can gain access to the Port of Indiana.

2) A way in and out of Illinois and Indiana via the South Shore Line, for those unfamiliar...is a train, your ride it, much like a witch rides a broom but with more room to walk.

and finally 3) a way to ruin caffeine.

Beyond those three things I see no real use for it... well it does carry newspapers.

"After today I find it a way to good laughs."

"Murphy, you suck."

"Well, considering I am not a vacuum cleaner, I am not sure how to take that."

"Right now I really do not care."

The reason I am aware with the first two tidbits of information is because my eldest is currently going to school in Chicago, and frankly the only way a witch wants to be in Chicago is sans car. So the chosen train station allows for safe parking and minimal grief reaching is the Portage/Ogden Dunes Station. On the way to said station I spied the sign for The Port of Indiana and suddenly remembered a little known fact about the formation the first round of states. A state was required to have access to a port I assume that was to move goods and people...beyond that I have slept since I watched the show... and yea..that.

The reason I know it ruins perfectly good caffeine is a multiple step process.

Step 1) Requires my normally brilliant daughter to have a brain fart and forget how time zones work, requiring me to kill almost two hours in Portage, Indiana. Which is also why I know it carries newspapers.

Step 2) requires the McDonald's Restaurant in Portage, Indiana to be an adventure of it's own.

*insert dramatization, Murphy will be playing the part of the person taking orders at the counter*

Time frame of Step 2: 15 minutes or an eternity ...I lost track.

For what seemed 10 or more minutes of this fiasco was taken up by one poor woman's plight to order a simple Iced Latte with non fat milk. No matter what the poor latteless woman said the Murphyitte behind the counter failed to compute. After entering it as a coffee, then hot latte with regular milk.... then maybe a VW beetle...I dunno I blanked it out and I am sure the poor woman is undergoing PTS counseling for it... the order was placed and the woman went to get napkins.

In the mean time I order my standard caffeine infusion device of choice a Large Coke Zero NO ICE... because this McDonald's chooses to not allow patrons to make their own drinks... in retrospect it would help with patron satisfaction if they did.

"Isn't it strange for an Ice Witch to order a drink sans ice?"

"No, Murphy, I want to be the only iced thing my vicinity."

"What about Smirnoff Ice?"

"That, I pretend, Smirnoff makes just for me so it is OK."

Anyway... NO ICE.... while I am waiting patiently for my drink, patiently because at this point I have read 1 USA Today and still have an hour to wait, and where else do I really have to be? A lovely young woman then brings to the counter a large hot beverage and says to me, "large latte non fat milk?"

I smile and think to myself ...whoops and shake my head no.

The poor traumatized woman comes up and also shakes her head (she is probably thinking something other than whoops) and says, "Ya know... just give it to me" Then leaves in a less than satisfied manner.

In the mean time my drink appears at the counter... making a suspicious I have ice sound... remembering the unIced Latte Lady I just take my ICED Coke Zero and leave, also not particularly satisfied.

Please note the disaster behind the counter was a manager trainer.

Once in my car I lift the cup to take a much needed sip of caffeine and ....

"Hey, Murphy, does this smell funny to you?"

"Yea, Sondra, it does, does it tasted funny?"

I take a sip.

"EWWWWWWWWWWWWWW, I know what it is. It smells and tastes like LAKE!"

"Sondra, It isn't supposed to tasted like lake."

"EWWW, I KNOW... I bet it was the ICE."

(I think the ice is made from water from the LAKE....ew LAKE MICHIGAN WATER)

So I return to the car drive back to the tiny gas station, toss out the LAKE Coke Zero and purchase a bottle of water and a Chicago Times paper and wait for the 11:59 am Central Time train that is now really the 12.15 train because of God only knows what delay happened where or on what planet....

*Fast Forward to Monday*

Step 3)

I learned my lesson. Upon returning to Portage Indiana, and nodding at The Port of Indiana sign, I avoided the Portage McDonald's like the plague. I returned the daughter to the South Shore Train, while waiting we saw a Circus Train go down the Norfolk Southern Track... pretty cool. Then start my trek back home but not before stopping a little outside Portage but not far enough to avoid disaster at a Luke's gas station to fill up on cheap gas and purchase a 44 oz glass of Diet Coke, because they aren't cool enough to have Coke Zero. I put on the matching 44 oz lid....

"Sondra, does that lid look like it fits strangely?"

"Yea, Murphy, it does, let's try another one."

So we put on a different lid paid for our stuff and got the heck out of dodge....

"YOU put on a different LID....don't be pulling me into this."

"This has YOU written all over it MURPHY."

A few miles later I finally try to take a sip and the Diet Coke dribbles out of the lid onto me so I re position the lid... the first of many re positions. Please note this is not a good sign.... and I know it so I take great care handling the cup.

Then I make a phone call and talk for a while, forgetting about the defective ensemble and promptly pour caffeine in my lap."

"Smooth."

"Shut up."

I am a good distance away from any where to do anything so I turn on the fan and dry off to the best of my ability. Then after about 30 more miles I turn right into the Warsaw McDonald's and promptly the cup flings itself back into my lap. Yea... fun.

So yea, Portage, Indiana good for three things... my least favorite: Is the way it treats it's caffeine.

Murphy and My Hair

2011-08-26T23:13:00.000-04:00

Murphy and My Hair... a retrospective. Fortunately for me, Murphy usually stays away from my hair.

pig tails version 1

Pigtails through time...

anyway different lengths, different times....different colors....
I don't know if I will ever out grow piggy tails.

variations on a theme?

With or without bangs.....it is still Princess Leia Puppy Ears.

"You are in a rut."

"No, Murphy, I know what works."

"Will it work if i work on your flat iron?"

"Don't you dare."

Next time the long and short of it....followed by fighting nature with a flat iron or letting it go wild.

Murphy and the rerformat

2011-08-13T00:55:00.000-04:00

I have had to reformat Murphy, the computer, on numerous occasions.... I have also failed to spell occasion correctly on most ummm... occasions. But this is the first time I have done it with windows 7... the reformat...not the spelling. Talk about taking user friendly too far. I didn't know if it formated the ucky away or just installed windows over it... I didn't know until it was over. And then only because I checked.

The reason I choose to do the reformat was simply because I need to get back to work. I mean work as in my book and illustrations. I have been working on many other things the past two years.... But I didn't wake up yesterday saying I should reformat so I can work. NO. I woke up thinking, I don't have anything pressing today, I will get back in the studio ...for the purpose of my book...not anything else.

I opened Photoshop then opened the folder labeled Gracie's Messy Room Art and selected the experimental project file. I proceeded to try to work on it and my hand couldn't get the angle right because I had not worked on this project since I installed win 7 and I lost my spinny tool. What is spinny tool...yea it lets me move my image in circles....rotate it with out changing the aspect and size of the image. and yea...it is like re positioning your paper. I like that, I like it great gobs...and now I cannot do it... because...

ENTER MURPHY

My wonderful video card, the video card that launched the debacle known as the Summer of Murphy 3.0,is not supported with full software in windows 7, 64 bit or 32 bit if you wanna get technical. The summer of Murphy 3.0 is named for a build that should have taken 3 hours that instead took 3 months to satisfactorily come to a conclusion. Reference Avoiding Murphy blogs June-August I think, 2009, for a full account. This vid card has open gl capabilities but without the ability to have a driver that is fully functioning the program does not recognize its awesomeness and therefore I HAVE NO SPINNY TOOL. No spinny tool- no work.

That and Ole Murphy 3.0 was acting wonky... so a reformating we will go....and we did. A strange hour later CS4 re installed and I click the spinny tool....aaaaaaaaaaaaannnnnnnnnnnd NOPE..not gonna work....

OH HELL.
"Do not even think of laughing Murphy."

So I spent great gobs of hours searching the world wide irritation for a solution to only learn that nope...do not pass go, spend $200, well not quite because most vid cards that fit my 2009 motherboard and support win 7 62 bit with full drivers aren't available in the $200 range ....yea...so I get an interim card...for $60 instead....I will get a spiffy one again when I build Murphy 4.0.

"You cannot blame me for ati's inability to plan for your future choices."
"I believe we established that yes, you , Murphy, are indeed responsible for all technical difficulties directly related to my life. And this is most definitely a technical difficulty."
"Rats."

So I reformat Murphy 3.0 he is not acting quite as stupid as he was and now he is getting another new vid card... which I hope doesn't spawn the great rebuild of 2011... because frankly I cannot do that again. I like simple builds where things work the first time.

"I rather liked the summer of 2009, some of my best work."
"I think that was the worst summer ever."
"It is all in the eye of the beholder...."

Murphy Goes to College

2011-08-06T19:51:00.000-04:00

Murphy goes to college.

Not that they offer a degree in life mis-management but if I go somewhere so does Murphy. In this instance we have both accompanied Gracie to her school of choice. For the protection of the school's dignity it shall remain nameless. For the possible importance to my story it is located in Chicago… a nice part of Chicago. If you look out the library window you can see Buckingham Fountain. If you look outside the dorm building windows you can see Lake Michigan. Matter of fact, if you looked out any Michigan Avenue facing class room windows you could see Lalapalooza… A very nice part of Chicago.

The buildings are true to Chicago Architecture, well designed, of historical significance and touched by many notables along the way. And the first draft of this blog was started in Ganz Hall, a bit of architecture worked on by a young apprentice named Frank Lloyd Wright. This blog was started during a blissful break in the Obvious Monologues. Also nothing Murphylicious had ensued to write about…. Yet. That is not to say it hasn’t been greatly entertaining in an OMG are they really telling me this stuff way.

To see the time line of disbelief please consult my facebook page. You might have to friend me first…. And believe it or not I do have friends. Some I can talk to and reach out and touch, if I am so inclined, some are virtual and live in my computer but many mean a very lot to me even if I cannot catch anything but a computer virus from them…and one is imaginary but you already know Murphy. Maybe Murphy needs a facebook group or perhaps a fan page for the real time logging of some of these occurrences…. But aaaaaaaany way.

Here, let me help those of you who are bereft of facebook.

Topics Covered in the Obvious Monologues part I:

Letting the chick out of the nest can be sad, hard and gasp…scary...yea, not this nest.

How ever will the chicky cope out in the scary ucky world.... like everyone else with a brain.

Will the chicky be able to remember to do things it has done for 18 or more years

Such as, eat, sleep, read, wake up… or OOOHHH NOOOOS… what if they drink too much caffeine. They may explode...or implode or vibrate clean off the planet perhaps...or be brilliant. We just don't know, now do we. Just accept it. It is legal ya know.

I drink too much caffeine both of my chicks, both in and out of my nest drink a lot of caffeine. We function ... actually... we excel when we choose, slack when we don't but I am not blaming caffeine for the slacking

Oh … please hold for Parent Orientation part II… helping my student be successful. Let me rephrase this:

Oh… please hold for Obvious Monologue part II … did you know you have to attend and participate (in a side note the presenter said it was obvious) in class to be successful.

“I am always participating!”

“I am painfully aware of that Murphy.”

No matter how realistic this woman is or how painful she thinks this information is to impart…the fact remains and she is being paid to pass it on….Oh and Gracie…your gaydar would have been hitting a 10 on the dial here.

Now…time management. I need help with that. Building time to eat, building time to sleep, building time to study….Building a time machine…. Now that is time management right there. I have two projects I would like someone to get on spiffy quick now that I think about it. A time machine and a teleporter I promise I would put both to good use. I would have time for all of my projects and a way to get the ever elusive fountain coke zero at any given moment or place in time or space. I promise I would only use my powers for good and the occasional good time.

“Sondra, you are rambling again.”

“I know Murphy I have been up since 2:30 am…and have no caffeine in hand. Hey, it is my blog and I will ramble if I want to.”

“If I had a head I would shake it and roll my eyes... HEY… Do I have a head?”

“Who is rambling now?”

Back to time management….My advice … big ole white board and a calendar... Oh…get some dry erase markers too, for those that need further guidance on this project, permanent markers are NOT a good choice. My own Obvious Monologue.

I am seeing folks appearing to take notes… I really hope they are writing notes for blogs or things they want to quip on facebook later. I, being an gen x adult stuck in the technology patterns of a millennium student just sent my facebook quips off on my cell phone as I am sitting here on my net book writing a blog… but don’t mind me. I have no idea how to talk to my kids on facebook or text...

Never mind…parent queries are popping ….yea… maybe there is a need for parent

orientation.

“Did that parent just ask what the lowest grade could be to keep financial aid?”

“Yes, and that would be the first sign perhaps your child isn’t college material.”

“Now, Sondra, that was not fair.”

“Murphy, I am not fair. I am a realist.”

“You? You are talking to a figment of your imagination.”

“Ok…Murph, you have a point but on this subject I am very realistic.”

And from there we moved through the day.... financial aid, intramural silliness....get a job, learn the city... dodge kids at Lalapalooza.....watching irate traffic cops... yea... I love the city.

I miss college...actually I miss the randomness of it. But then again... that is why I became a creative type we get to be random FOREVER.

Murphy and the Arch

2011-07-20T15:02:00.000-04:00

Make that the Arch Nemesis.... and really it has become one. In actuality this particular nemesis started out as a Catenary Arch or a chain arch.... from hell. Truly, if Satan ever created an arch it would this particular arch...not this type of arch but this solitary one. This Arch is so bad it's demise is being plotted by the constructors of it.

"I hear fire is a front runner for demolition."
"Well, Murphy, it has been bandied about ...primarily because there will be fire trucks handy."
"I like fire trucks...can we do something at home so they can come visit?"
"No."

Anyway....on paper this seemed an easy feat. Things on paper usually don't go sour until they go into the world as an entity of some sort...then it goes pear shaped quite rapidly....look at Communism for example...great on paper...crap in application.

This particular project started going south...

"I am really wondering when you are going to run out of terms to denote the decline of this project."
"I have a lot of terms because this happens a lot....you usually have a hand in the demise."
"I know."
"You don't have to laugh."

Anyway...south...yea, it went south and not the keys...although a keystone is involved. Things started looking bleak when we went in search of how to create an arch... there are not many good how to build an arch for fun and profit sites on the world wide web...interwebs...nenernets...what ever you call it.... Al Gore didn't put a place for build ya own arches on the nets when he supposedly gave birth to it.

Things then turned around...for a second when we found a picture that could be snagged off the nets, webs or what ever and spit it out of the printer (which was it's own adventure). That was a short lived bit of joy as then we had to figure out how to get the angles for each block... and omg the world is ending and with which we threw our hands in the air....and said...NO.

Adobe Illustrator to the rescue. At least this step went as planned.....and out of the printer came rushing a drawing for the arch. All that remained was to put it on my artograph projector and shine it on a nice blank wall in the dark.....sssssssssssssssssssssssssssssccccccccccccccccceeeeeeeeeeeeeeeetching halt.

"Did you not have a nice dark bare wall?"
"Shut up Murphy."

Plan B...enter scale ruler.

"Adi take this ruler use 3/4" = 1" and measure each block."
"Huh?"

Please note Adi is a smart girl... also note...do not have her measure anything with a scale ruler. This said the making of patterns took a tad longer than originally expected...but that is OK because the corrugated boards took even longer...thank goodness that the robotics team is comprised of pack rats and we had enough on hand for the project.

So after remeasuring the stupid drawing and remaking the patterns, Proto Block was born. Block 1 was nicely cut, beautifully constructed and right. Blocks 2-6 not so much.... apparently, unbeknownst to Cole, one must really use a straight edge for clean straight cut line... he is now aware of it. Block parts and patterns for 7-17 went home with me...the next day they were constructed...not done but at least they were in block form....

All the blocks 1-17 were brought together for aluminum foil....don't ask. Ripped, nay dismembered tin foil pieces, school glue and foam brushes involved in the Alienizing of corrugated blocks...and that day was the last day block 1-17 were to be in the same place for a while. Including a period time when I really, really, really wanted it there. Life went on and so did my need for my trusty detox habits...few of which were available. NEXT DAY...today

blocks 1-9 and blocks 11-17 are sitting waiting on their long lost friend block 10 and I wait with baited breath to behold the ARCH NEMESIS for the first time all clad in foil with what what really isn't Klingon but for you Chris...we will pretend... lettering on them.

"So, Sondra, you gonna build another arch?"
"Me, alone, perhaps... maybe Gothic in style for Halloween... a grand thing to sit at the end of my front walk...I can see it now....all painted up to look like granite.... Me with help ...no...I don't think so."
"It is gonna be cool though."
"I know...there are just somethings which only need done once."

The arch in question....

Please note: The blocks have gotten a reprieve. They are being "de-foiled" and redied for pre-school and kindergartners. No blocks were harmed in the making of this arch but I got a nasty exacto knife cut and many hot glue burns.

Murphy and Riding in Cars

2011-07-02T12:53:00.000-04:00

As a rule, discounting times when Murph and I are stuck in a mini van, we find our car driving experiences to be generally zen like. We crank up the radio, sing along with the songs we like...and just exist until we reach our destination. That is not always an option when you are a passenger. Let's take Friday as an example.

Gary calls," I am heading down to the Muncie Auto Auction do you want to come along?"

I think for a second, knowing if I do not go I will most likely end up having to go later to pick up some random vehicular purchase for the lot.

So I answer, "Sure...gimme a sec to finish my breakfast and put on some shoes."

So off we go and all is fine...chit chatting ensues for a lil bit...and then the lady in front of us decides now is a lovely time to enjoy the scenery from her car.... as we slow down... a lot.

Gary, "Expletive blah blah expletive driver you have seen this before you live here....blah blah expletive."
Me...Shrug

And we drive on... and the next thing I know the music channel is being changed rabidly, stopping briefly on Train then skittering off to Lady Gaga only to crash land on talk radio and head back along the air waves past Queen and through the halls of I have no idea what.

Me, "AAAAAAAAAAAAAAARGH, STOP IT! I liked that song!"
Gary, "What song?"
And he starts flippin through channels....."Expletive bleep....if you are gonna turn left get over to the left so people can go around... EXPLETIVE BLAH...."

Yea... and by the time Murphy and I landed in Muncie we were tense and ridden with negativity. I mean you can run me into a ditch, a cornfield, spin me in circles and into a wall if ya want but DO NOT MESS with my music and car Zen!

"Sondra, You know what it is like."
"Yes, Murphy, I know. The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again expecting a different result.... so call me crazy."
"So, Crazy.... I really like my new memory."
"Ya know what Murph.... I really like it too."
"Hey, Sondra."
"Yes, Murphy?"
"Let's take a drive."

Murphy and the Universe.

2011-04-27T17:13:00.000-04:00

WARNING: This post has nothing to do with Murphy's Law.

The world I live in and the world that others around me live in cross paths only briefly, I think. I am certain that there are many others who live out their existence in a similar way. We are neither crazy nor are we to be feared…. We just see things in a different way because that is the way it is in our worlds and if you are one of the lucky ones, much can be learned from these visitors from other worlds.

I notice this phenomenon sometimes more markedly than others; Today was one of those days. I had sat for a mind numbing amount of time inhabiting a table...sucking the internet from a very hospitable McDonalds dining room and watching a parade of humanity flow in and out of its doors. There were polo shirted middle management minions, bedraggled moms, workmen, retirees and couple of laptop armed oddities (I included my self in this group as I sat there sipping a coke zero and snacking on a caramel sundae, complete with peanuts.) As I watched the parade I saw folks who were only visiting this communal place… not the McDonalds, but the lobby area where all the worlds intermingle with the "Reality".

You can see who is only visiting from not so distant worlds and those who live just outside the lobby in "Greater Reality", it is in their eyes. Then there were those whom you could tell were yearning to find their world but were afraid to take the leap to world ownership due to anxiety over what those of "Greater Reality" would say. Then there were those who are solidly in their own world and only send emails and texts to... or perhaps open a window and shout a greeting to the residents of the other worlds and “Reality”. I am talking about kids both chronological and eternal … those spirited beings that make life sing and scream and rage….sometimes all at once.

One lil (chronological) sprite was having nothing to do with the “Reality of McDonalds” and was I think…. Slithering around on the jungle floor of his world, much to the frustration of his father, whom you could tell if you know the signs has a world of his own but was pretending to be a residents of "Greater Reality" for the sake of the McDonalds Patrons both visitors and "Greater Reality" residents. It was this slitherer that prompted my musings of worlds both physical and metaphorical.

And it to the Chronological Children I talk to now. Keep your fairy dust handy my pretties. You will want to go home to your Neverland... or at least I hope you do. For it is the Eternal Children who give the world it's flavor and sometimes frustration. They are the dreamers, the schemers and the artists, they take the path less traveled and embark with glee upon flights of fancy... and sometimes their socks don't match. Now I send an invitation from the witch to all the children both Chronological and Eternal... stop by the lair some time we will stir up a potion or two and watch the parade go by.

"What no mention of me today?"

"Murphy, you are a resident of my world. This was a message to other worlds."

"There are other worlds?"

"Yes, there are worlds where people do not talk to the fates, where witches don't exist and ones most valued friends don't live in boxes on their computer screens."

"And where ducks and squirrels do not conspire against witches."

"Amen, Murphy, Amen."

"Hey, Sondra, Can we export Mildred to another world?"

" I wonder if the Slitherer needs a ghost? We could shout out our window and ask him."

So, tell a witch about your world...

Murphy and the duck pond.

2011-02-07T00:56:00.000-05:00

Ok, it is not a literal duck pond, it is more of a table really but lately it has been Murphy's little water wonderland. And what is Murphy's favorite flotation device?

"That would be your overworked, never intended to be anything but an internet runner, laptop."

"And any other laptop in the vicinity if you take other recent events into consideration."

"It is my pond and I will float on anything I want."

Well, that is all well and good but what Murphy fails to understand or understands all too well is that I have deadlines. Deadlines that don't care if you cannot save documents, deadlines that doesn't give a damn if the usb hub works or not....Deadlines do not care... There only desire is to be met, to be succumbed to, they don't care what happens before that date but baby, you best make it.

I spent the better part of the last couple days helping a darling young girl learn a little about photoshop. While she was plucking on draining color from this logo and that, I was doing some necessary bits of graphic housekeeping. The creation went well if you discount the malfunctioning mouse, the dead in the water graphic tablet... and the glitching external bits of media storage. Yes, just flipping great until you went to save it.

"You can not save everyone, Sondra."
"I am ignoring you Murphy."

So here I sit, on Murphy, the computer... well not literally on him but I am working on him...well, in front of him to be more geographically precise..Anyway. I am sitting up on this early Monday morning recreating some of the stuff Hypatia, the laptop, with Murphy the Law's help managed to sink in the duck pond this week.

My condolences and apologies to anyone else working on malfunctioning flotation devices this past week. I take full cosmic though not financial responsibility on behalf of Murphy the Law.

One Frustrated Witchie...out

Murphy and the Calendar

2011-01-09T18:37:00.001-05:00

I have always said I need a personal assistant. I did not mean that it should be a position taken by Murphy and his Law. Murphy is my self appointed personal assistant. He will not quit and I have been unable to fire him.

I suspect what he does is throw all the my possible in the future appointments (that other people are planning and they don't know about Murphy's role in their decisions) and tosses them in the air.

Where they land on his calendar is where the unsuspecting people ultimately say, "Yes! I want to have this meeting/event/shower/moose catching party...that day."

I do admit though, that this is my busy time of the year.

"Sondra, The peanut gallery is laughing at you."
"I know, Murphy, I do and they should be because I am always having my busy time of the year. "
"That is why scheduling your days is SO MUCH FUN!"
"SQUIRREL!"
Sondra, "why did you say squirrel?"
"Read and be quiet and you will learn."

I just said squirrel, very loudly, because I learned that yesterday from a friend. Instead he used "Parking Lot" to table sub-topics that were causing a traffic jam in the topic - brilliant. So I am adapting it to my life but instead of cars and a parking lot I have squirrels that just show up in my life... probably from falling out of trees (I suspect it has something to do with Murphy and his sense of humor... or pets) So I am saying "Squirrel" when a squirrel needs to be put back in the tree until he can be dealt with later.Hmm, maybe I should have a squirrel holding facility...

"SQUIRREL!"
"HEY!"
"It is your idea, Sondra, I am just using it."
"Fine.Where was I?"
"Busy life... great personal assistant...."

AAAAAAAAAAAAnyway...my schedules are messy. I have days I go days at a break neck speed, changing clothes and mind sets 3 or 4 times a day and other days when I rebel and play on the internet or suck at playing Donkey Kong.

This week is kinda messy because it is my second favorite time of year, Robotics Season.(for the next few months but most frantically till midish February) For me it never really ends but this is the High Holiday portion of the movement. I am a Marketing Mentor for FRC (First) Huntington County 4-H (jinglheimerschmidt) robotics team 1501... try putting that on anything easily...lol.
And if you add that with Girl Scout Cookie Sale time, House in Warren market preparation time, my days where I just don't wanna and some actual paying work I occasionally get to do... yea... Have fun Murphy.

"I am sure I can handle all of your obligations in my top-notch traditional manner."
"Sigh, I am sure you can. Oh, and I would like to work on my writing and illustration this year too and I need to add workouts M-F to the game."
"Can you write while lifting weights?"
"No."

Well there you have it my pretties, why I need a personal assistant who cleans up my calendar after Murphy does the "rough" (please read...unusable) draft.

Please apply within... please do not plan to receive monetary compensation, though I offer much in the way of comic relief and entertainment, band-aids and caffeinated beverages.

Murphy, Mildred and Birthdays.

2010-11-15T21:03:00.000-05:00

I would like to take this time to thank you all, my family, my friends and my Facebook Pretties for the lovely happy birthday wishes. I would also like to thank Murphy and Mildred for being a good little gremlin and ghostie. I had a nice, peaceful, uneventful, day free from mishaps, lost items you know... not my normal day - day.

I am, I think... though I am most likely WRONG in thinking that this is going to be a productive year. I intend to get back in the studio, I plan to start writing again, I will make submissions.... I hope to get my website done....

"Hope is a good thing. Not gonna happen, but since it is your birthday I will let you keep on believing...Hey isn't that a song?"

"No, Murphy, it is "Don't Stop Believing" that you are thinking of... In retrospect it is my life's mantra because if for one moment I didn't think I could accomplish half of what I set out to do, I would just start screaming

"You do that anyway."

"I do not. I yell."

Any way my pretties, thanks again...

One Witchie, a lil older but none the wiser.

Murphy and Halloween

2010-11-05T11:12:00.000-04:00

Murphy was busy during the Halloween off season... really busy. Over the course of decorating and getting ready for HallowFrenzy 2010 I discovered many things went bust while in storage.

On Thursday the 28th I was doing final touches to the Spider's Lair...otherwise known as the living room. When I discovered that my wonderful green, glowing, roiling globe had ceased to roil. NOOOOOOOOOOooooooooooooooooo I love that prop. I pack it away in it's original packaging. Every year it is ensconced in its perfectly fitted foam and slid lovingly in it's original box and then placed with care on a shelf. It does not do hard time.

"Why, Murphy, why?"

"Because, I said so."

"HUH?!"

Then Saturday day as I am readying for the Party and the first wave (make that a tidal wave) of trick or treaters It came to my attention that my cauldron mister no longer misted... thus turning it into toaster or something. Drats! Foiled again. It worked when I put it away too.

Then it was time to get dressed. (Mildred got involved too)

Gary went as Frankenstein's Monster... we mangled his suit, and found appropriate boots and then we then prepared to do make up and prosthetics. All the bags were dumped onto the table.

"Bolts?"

"Here!"

"Scar?"

"Here."

Green Make up?"

silence

"Green Make up?"

NO GREEN MAKE UP! We got that a month ago and hung the bag on the hanger with the greenish suit. And now a few hours before the party it is GONE!

Fortunately I have a big pink make up suitcase full of HallowUp... I got lucky because I have no idea when we used green last but I had some left.

So make up went on and we both got dressed and the party ensued.

Then, THen, THEN... Sunday. All Hallows Eve, my most favorite day of the year. I boost the outdoor decorations with a creepy tableau of crates, skulls, skeletons, lights, candles, a spiny headed zombie baby, stuff like that and I added my fog machines...

"You wanna try that again, Sondra?"

"No, I want to foget that part."

"Come now, it is relevant to the story."

"Fine."

I tried to add my fog machine. It worked earlier in the day but when it came time to turn it on for the evening it turned into a... wait for it... TOASTER. Fortunately I do have other fog machines. So I pulled out the big one... timer died. Trick or Treating starts at 6. It was 5 till 6 when we finally pulled out the blue one....YES! It works!

HallowFrenzy 2010 ends with much stress, 7 lost strands of lights, 1,200 trick or treaters and one party in it's coffers.

I have a headache in mine.

"Come on, you loved it. You will do it again next year and the next year, and the next year..."

"I know, I know... you can piss the witch off but you cannot piss her off enough to make her stop."

One witch with a head ache....OUT.

Murphy and the Hair Salon

2010-10-14T13:31:00.002-04:00

It is nice to know Murphy cares about my appearance as much as he cares about the rest of my life.

This little Murphy's Law experience started about a month ago with a box of cherry crayon (pronounced cray-on) red color to highlight my dark as a moonless night hair. No small feat but the box said it could do it. Color shows up even on black hair. So I buy it. My hair... and Murphy laughed at me. That should have been my first clue but I persevered. Yea, an hour later and the verdict was in. My hair and Murphy were right. NOTHING.

"We tried to tell you. Really, we did."
"I know, Murphy, it is all good. I am stubborn."

So I made an appointment for a couple weeks later for 1 pm on Sunday, October 1st with a Salon that I will not be naming because they have been very nice about this whole thing. All of this was met with much excitement from friends and family. Please note there were also those whom after I said I will be getting bright- cherry- crayon red highlights... looked at me like I was flat out crazy. But I was determined. I needed it for my Halloween costume. And I said if I liked it I would keep it for a while too. Yes sire... I was anxiously awaiting the arrival of Oct 1st.

"Silly Witch...."
"Hurumph, Murphy, Hurumph!"

I arrived at the Salon at 5 till 1 for my appointment and was seated in the chair. I told the lady what I wanted and informed her that I color my hair with a black semi-permanent color... roots only once a month and do an over all color twice a year. OK she says and gets ready to lift the darkness from the highlight areas.... yea... easy...right? NO, not so much.

Certain bits lifted wonderfully other bits were as stubborn to stay black as I was to have them red. Oh they fought a hard and bloody battle. I am still unclear about who won that battle.

It took a long time... too long. Part of me knew this was not going to be good but they know what they are doing. I do not.

She checked the foils and said, "Hmm this part lifted good but I am going to have to work a bit more on a couple of foils. I am going to put more bleach gunk on and then stuff you back under the dryer." (Ok, she didn't say bleach gunk and she didn't say stuff me under the dryer but in essence that is what happened.)

What seemed an eternity later she rinsed me out and said I will be right back... it was not right back.

When she returned she said something along the lines of I have been doing hair for a long time and never had this happen....never a good way to start.

"Stop Laughing Murphy!"

So I stopped her after a while and said... ok, done is done.... end game...what are we up against...

"Well, the chemicals from the bleach and the chemicals from your black color caused some breaking."
"How much breaking"
"Just in a couple areas"
"Ok, now what?"

The now what was:
1) You can go ahead and color the highlighted areas Cherry-Crayon-Red
2) Or you can dye it all back to black which would hide the broken areas a bit better.
3) And You will need a couple protein treatments (on the house of course).... of course.

Having just spent 3 hours at this place and missing a movie, you better believe I am leaving with the red. I will work around the breakage and all will be fine. She relaxed a great deal at that point. I think she thought I was going to chop her head off.

"Don't look at me like that Murphy... I do not chop of people's heads."
"Oh, not literally, that would make a mess but figuratively.... have you met yourself?"
"Be quiet Murphy, I am not done with this story yet."

Well, Murphy wasn't quite done with us yet.

"Hehehehe"
"Shut up."

She put the red in.... I swear she did. I watched her do it. And it sat for 20 minutes... then we rinsed....There was no red to be found. I looked like a Halloween decoration all black and peach. I am not a fan of black and peach together so this was not going to work.

The manager was a lovely woman and she had someone bring in a serious red dye that she uses and another 20 minutes and a cold rinse later I had Bright-Cherry-Crayon-Red highlights... and some breakage...oh well what is life without adventure.

In other news, I like it. I am keeping it and growing the damage out to the original length. I am keeping the new growth un-blackened so no more chemical on chemical stress and eventually... I WILL see how it was supposed to look originally. In the mean time I am babying my hair, washing it once or so a week in cold water with a color friendly shampoo and hair mask.

"Murphy, do a witch a favor and stay away from my hair."
"But....I love your hair."
"So do I.....so hands and luck off!"

Parts of the red in bad lighting.

One chemically treated Witch ....Out.

Murphy and My Week

2010-09-14T23:48:00.000-04:00

Yes, I know it is only Tuesday.
Yes, I know I have 4 more days until this week is over.
Yes, Yes, Yes.

In all fairness I am going to back this tale up to last Saturday so in actuality I have been at this week since Saturday or maybe it was Friday... It is really getting foggy in my memory. For those of you who know me...no jokes.

So a sub entry to Murphy and My Week would be Murphy and the Others Guy's Laptop. No matter how hard you try, no matter who you know, no matter how hard they try.... It is not in a mere mortals (even if that mortal is a witchie) capability to uninstall God awful Vista and replace it with XP on a compaq laptop. Even if XP is much better suited to a machine.... no matter how you dig, no matter how much you want it to....just NO MATTER...DO NOT TRY IT. You will waste time, you will waste brain cells, you will want to drink mass quantities of alcohol and hit it with a hammer. Which I did not do... but I wanted to.

"If you would have asked me I would have helped."
"There is a reason I didn't ask you, Murphy. I would have done less damage with a hammer."
"Yes, but I would have smashed it with more style."
"Oh, I have seen your style....and just keep reading."

Which brings me to today. I should have not even tried to do anything. I would have done better to have stayed in bed. I would have been better off sitting in a bubble.... or on the moon.

The day started off benign enough so I felt confident in tackling the project which is putting my first two rounds of Halloween stuff away. That way I can get it out in an orderly manner in a week or there abouts, and then I will know where these things will reside when it comes time to put it away on November 2nd. I was wrong to feel confident. Had I known then what I know now, well, I would not have opened the first box.

The first box I should have let be and returned unopened to the store was what I had originally thought a good idea. It was a nice double bar hanging rack to store a portion of my Halloween costumes on. (please note I have a lot of costumes. In my defense they are not all mine.... only about 90% of them) I got it up, I put it in place and proceeded to put a small portion of my collection on the bars. Knowing it was not even close to big enough for all of it, I wisely used an older yet sturdy hanging bar contraption for the bulk of the costumes and all of the heavy ones, including the Uncle Fester robe, which was not one I would ever wear but someone else might. So the likes of skirts and shirts and some short dresses and some minuscule costumes that I have worn (and may wear again, who knows) went on the new hangy bar set.

Umm, yea.... you would think a double sided hanging contraption would be able to stand up to that....right? WRONG... it wobbled, and collapsed on the ground, depositing all those nice clean costume bits on the basement floor.

Hangy bar contraption re-construction ensued....

Rebuild, spill , repeat.... twice.

Insert fit thrown or rather words thrown .... at said PIA Hangy bar from HELL.
Shove bits back in box to return for the reason: malfunctioning piece of dissatisfaction take this back and redesign it.... now give me my money back.....

I then proceeded to the Big Stupid Wal-Mart and bought a basic hangy bar contraption with a single bar....sigh...contentment. It still stands, which is more than can be said about this next disaster.

Costumes hung, on to the next set of boxes containing candles, candle holders, Hallowserving dishes and bowls.... odd and breakable ends. Please note: Breakable.

Destination: Two well tried, true and trusted metal shelves who have been in use for many years for the same articles who were going to be lodged on them again.....WRONG.

Destination: Half tried and true and half FAIL.

As stated above. I have two metal shelving units that house all of this, one a lil less heavy duty than the other. So I put metal and unbreakable stuff on it with nice heavy candles on the bottom shelf to anchor everything nicely.... I like that shelf. I have another unit a little more robust... I put my breakables on that shelf because well it is the more capable of the two... or at least it was and I no longer like the robust shelf.

I have it almost loaded with my beloved skull on a dish,chip and dip tray along with various glass articles and serving pieces this shelving unit is also anchored on the bottom shelf with heavy candles....

I went out in to the other room to retrieve a forgotten piece of I don't even remember and I looked back at the shelf to think about where the forgotten piece should go and there, in slow motion, goes the shelving unit.....melting.... and falling forward...with me scrambling futilely...and the shelving unit deposits my beloved skull on a dish,chip and dip tray most unceremoniously on the cement basement floor. Do you know how many pieces a beloved skull on a dish, chip and dip tray breaks in to? No? Come to my house you can count the pieces then let me know... because I really cannot look at it at the moment. Thank goodness and all the deities that my beloved Zombie nacho and salsa set was on the other shelves.

"Oh but wasn't it cool how the metal supports bent all wiggly like?"
"NO, IT WAS NOT COOL! It was and is traumatic."
"YES! I rarely achieve traumatic."
"Shut up, Murphy."

Yea, so I said, "Self, sweep it up in a pile,turn off the lights, go sit on the couch." I grabbed a clothes basket of clean clothes from the dryer and headed up to the couch to watch a lil tv and fold clothes.... all is well... so I get a lil brave and decided to put them away....NOPE... Murphy was not done with me yet.....I opened a drawer and the drawer front came off in my hands...oh hell.

"Really, Murphy, did you have to?"
"I had nothing to do with that.... blame Mildred, the ghost."
"Liar."
"Hey, I tried."

I kinda figure tonight shouldn't be the night I add a bright crayon red swash to my black hair...

One worn out Witchie, out.

Murphy and moving coffins.

2010-09-08T20:39:00.000-04:00

"Nice touch, Murphy, blowing my coffin up."
"I didn't do it, the semi-truck did."
"Who is responsible for the ONLY semi-truck on a small highway at 7pm on a Tuesday?"

For those not blessed with remote video of my life... which I am pretty sure would make a kick-ass half hour sitcom....I will replay the trip for you.

But first a little background ....
Mid September starts what I refer to and my family dreads - Halloween (insert year) Frenzy. Well, this year is a little bigger challenge when you factor in the new house, the fact that Halloween is still housed at the old house and that house is a 15 mile trip down a two lane Indiana high way. Then you add a new house means no old plans to follow and no idea what is going to go where....and the little matter of giant, must be trimmed, OMG who let them get this big, shrubs.... yea gonna be a busy season. I don't have time for problems.

Halloween Move Episode I:

On the move list:

2 giant black storage shelves - check
2 big black shroud holding tubs - check
first group of cauldrons- check
1 6' tall Keyhole coffin in cardboard- check.

The coffin in question in use 2006

The truck is packed....

"Hmm, Gary, do you think this coffin is really going to ride well there?
"Sure, trust me, it will be fine."
"Ooooookkkkkaaay, sigh, I love my coffin."

I knew, knew, knew it was a bad idea.... really, I did. Yet I still went on with the plan. I was right, it was a bad idea.

Almost half way through the trek with the list in the bed of the truck all was well..... that is when the trouble started... and by started I mean that is when a semi-truck passed by going southbound while my coffin laden truck was heading north. The ensuing winds caused by this passing ripped the seams of the coffin....

"OH HELL!" I yelled.... pulled over, assessed the damage... and the damning started - the semi, the idea of placing said beloved coffin in the bed in the manner it was placed...the wind, the truck, the day.... you get the idea.

Yea, a big ole mess, the back side of the coffin was partially ripped from the side and the front was holding on by a 4 foot strip of hot glue... I gathered the small bits that were laying inside the remains of the coffin and got back in the truck to carefully drive the remaining 10 or so miles.

By the time I made it to the new house you would be hard pressed to identify the sheets of oddly cut black cardboard as a coffin.... possibly the box that held the coffin but hardly a coffin.

Arrival check list:
2 giant black storage shelves - check
2 big black shroud holding tubs - check
first group of cauldrons- check
1 6' tall Keyhole coffin in cardboard (in parts with one part missing) - check.

So that my pretties is why I am sitting in my studio today gluing the remains back into coffin form. I am doing that instead of moving the rest of Halloween or cutting bushes or well anything else productive.

The damages.

a gash

in pieces

new supports

pending paint and decorative bits.

"Wait, Sondra, don't end the post just yet... I have more."
"Huh?"
"Check the glue gun."

"OH HELL!"

One Witchie - off to buy a new hot glue gun.

Murphy and the ghosts... plural.

2010-08-31T22:54:00.000-04:00

"Murphy, I think it is time to chronicle the ghosts of Candyland House."
"Yea, I would say so, I am having a hard time keeping track of them."
"Me too."

OK in order of appearance or rather apparition....

1} Mildred the Ghost with her hiding and moving of stuff.
2) Sydney (renamed Syd because it is cooler) the cat... is both a visual apparition and an audible meow in the dining room only. (please note: Syd's meow sounds nothing like either Spike's or Razor's)
3)The arrival of the The Shadow people who walk my bedroom some nights driving me batty.
4)The unknown flying above my bed woman with short curly hair, an ugly print blouse, odd vest and old woman pants.
5)The annoying entity that kept bumping the bed the night of the flying old lady.
6)And last but not least, last night. The persistent lady and her three children.

"What do you mean by persistent?"
"I mean, I have taken to wearing a sleeping eye mask to bed at night so I don't obsess over the walking shadow people, and apparently the Lady and her children wanted to be seen. They wanted to be seen so much that they emitted enough energy that I could feel there presence and it was not going away."
"Damn."

Yup, I could feel this quartet and they just were not gonna budge until I looked at them. So I took off my mask and looked at them and said, "I see you and I acknowledge your existence. Now go away and let me sleep." And the did.

"Ok, so that makes the ghost count at what now? 10 not counting the many shadow people?"
"Right around there I think... I cannot say I care anymore. I have seen more ghosts in this one house then all my other residences put together."

"I can see I am not going to be getting the attention in these blogs like I used to... stupid ghosts."
"Don't fret Murphy, I gotta say the whole battery not working and stuck solid trick was a real gem. It stuck so much that when I tried to free it with an exacto-knife, I managed to slit my thumb and the battery still stayed in."
"Yea, I saw that.... that was a lot of blood for 7 am in the morning."
"A huh."

One witchie, out.

Murphy, Mildred the Ghost and Me.

2010-08-27T15:25:00.000-04:00

This is going encapsulate the last 30 days of Murphy, Mildred the ghost and me.

Poison Ivy- check
Swelling and itching- check
Trip to Redi-Med - check
Steroid shot and meds - check
less itching but still itchy - check
Ghost causing lost sleep- check
Move to new house - check but still in progress
New stove delivered in wrong color - check
Air bed for a month - check
Water issues in the upper bathroom - check
Computer issues with the old pc for the car lot - check
Lost phone- check
Lost everything else at least once-

"Let's expand on these issues, shall we?"
"By all means do, Sondra."
"You know, Murphy, you are sharing this post with Mildred, the ghost, don't you?"
"That damn ghost is stealing my thunder."

Be aware these expansions are not in chronological order.

I managed to get poison ivy while trying to tame a part of the Amazon... actually it is my back yard. Imagine a yard populated by a multitude of wonderful things left to run a muck unchecked for a decade or so, and you have my yard. Well it has been decided to save what we can, get rid of what we cannot. So my mom and I grabbed a pruner, nick-named loper-offers, and we procured (much to the distress of many men we encountered during the purchase.) a small electric chain saw. Well it seems that the foliage got it's revenge as I and my mother both found poison ivy... please note this poison ivy was in hiding and waiting for it's chance to get sneak on our skin. We are both healing.

I managed to loose my beloved red Samsung Intensity during the move. I called and called and could not find it. It is stuck somewhere. It kept calling the same nonsense number over and over and over and over until it died and was deactivated. RIP
"I think Mildred the Ghost stole it"
"I think you are right, Murphy."

The move went well actually, if you discount a few broken bits along the way.

The days that followed were filled with tools being stolen and moved by Mildred.
"Damn Ghost."
"Yes, Murphy, I know you do not like her."

In other news from this point forward, everything lost or moved in the house... is blamed on Mildred the Ghost. Luck, broken, messed up technology and all events outside the confines of the Poplar Street walls are still in the hands of Murphy.

"Thank you."
"It is and has always been yours my dear Murphy. Who am I without you?"

Upon moving in it has been discovered we had neither a stove or plan for a bed once it was decided out soft side water bed would indeed crash through the new ceiling. Enter the queen sized high profile air mattress from hell.

I have not had a good nights sleep in two weeks due to that hell spawn. It is impossible to stay in that thing if you like to sleep near the edge of your bed....IMPOSSIBLE! Now if you pair that with the ghost shenanigans it is just not a good restful night.

By ghost shenanigans I mean bumping into the air mattress and jolting me awake, walking around the room as a shadow, coming at me from the air above the mattress... you get the idea..

In other ghostly news I still hear the ghost cat, I have not seen the ghost guinea pig since the first sighting. Doors open, close, lights come on .... just random ghostly gunk.

In other bed news we have a bed coming....in two weeks...sigh.

Now we move on to the stove. We had one ordered. A nice stove with a removable griddle, center oval burner, convection oven... in white. We got the new stove about 5 days after we moved in... in black and stainless. This stove took about 3 weeks to arrive. It was decided to just keep it because it would take a month or more I bet, just to see if the replacement would be white or orange....lol

The computer issues also involve a printer... just garden variety stuff nothing special it just all adds up ya know. No one died, no one in the hospital, no loss of big ticket property... just chip, chip chip away stuff.

"Well, Murph, ya ready for September?
"Yup, I have a lovely month planned."
"Great."

Signing out, One Witchie moved!

Murphy, Remodeling and my health

2010-07-25T21:59:00.000-04:00

Under normal circumstances Murphy or Remodeling gives me enough trouble but the two have teamed up on me over the past 24 hours.

Yesterday I was minding my own business painting away on a small ladder in a small space when I decided it would be a good time to climb down and reload my roller... I have climbed up and down this ladder millions of times since this project began.... No problem. WRONG.... Danger Will Robinson Danger.

1 step 2 ste...slam... so much for my shin...

I went home that night to soak my lovely bloody boo boo... ouchie.

Fast forward to today. I am de glossing paint. Please note I have done this before but never on a ceiling.... please note... if de glossing paint on a ceiling - use eye protection. If you choose to not use eye protection be sure to have a sink with working water on hand in a handy location.....fortunately I did have the latter... I actually had the former too but since they are coated in white paint from the last spray fest... I decided against wearing them.... BAD SONDRA!

"Do not blame me for you being clumsy!"
"I need to blame something or someone!"
"Blame Mildred."
".... Good idea, Murphy, BAD GHOST, MILDRED..... BAD GHOST."

POST EDITED to incorporate new idea by Murphy... edits will be in italic.

Under normal circumstances Murphy or Remodeling gives me enough trouble but the the ghost, Mildred has been horrid this last 24 hours.

Yesterday I was minding my own business painting away on a small ladder in a small space when I decided it would be a good time to climb down and reload my roller... I have climbed up and down this ladder millions of times since this project began.... No problem. WRONG.... Danger Will Robinson Danger.

1 step 2 ste...I was pushed off the ladder by Mildred the Ghost...slam... so much for my shin...

I went home that night to soak my lovely bloody boo boo... ouchie.

Fast forward to today. I am de glossing paint. When Mildred the Ghost poured de glosser in my eye. Please note I have done this before but never on a ceiling.... please note... if de glossing paint on a ceiling - use eye protection. If you choose to not use eye protection be sure to have a sink with working water on hand in a handy location.....fortunately I did have the latter... I actually had the former too but since they are coated in white paint from the last spray fest... I decided against wearing them.... BAD SONDRA! Bad Mildred the Ghost!!

"I like that one better."

"It was a great idea Murphy, thanks."

Murphy and Color...

2010-07-19T22:20:00.000-04:00

I swear that blue looked sensible on the tiny little card. It looked magically sky like next to it's bashfully blue card mate. It was lying. It was not sensible, while sky like it was more maniacal than magical.....

In the game of renovations I rarely take a bad step. My walls complement my floor coverings, I take daring chances and they pay off. I never paint a ceiling white and am not afraid to get into my work. Then there was blue. This blue was not just blue but a bright blue ceiling paired with a lovely blue wall.... Yea, have you ever wondered what it would look like inside a blueberry?

"Oh wow....Sondra....What were you thinking?"
"Well, Murphy, I was basically thinking I haven't used blue in ages. So I made up for lost time."
"Hmm, you didn't need help with this one did ya?"
"Nope, I had this one under control."

In case anyone cares...I replaced the crazy maniacal blue with a perfectly serene light green. Color disaster averted. In other news I have worn more paint in the last month than most people paint on their walls in a lifetime.

Be well my pretties, I have rooms to paint and walls to tile.

Murphy, Math and Water...

2010-05-21T22:09:00.000-04:00

I had a rather vile afternoon... polynomials were at fault. I really just hate math, I do. I hate the k12 7th grade math book more than I hate just plain math. I hate this math book more than any math book I had while I was in school. This math book can take things normal people know about math and twist it three ways from Sunday and you no longer know how to add... let alone do algebraic functions. I blame K12, I blame them for picking out the most convoluted mangled up mess of mathematic voodoo.

And Avast, if you are listening .... I DO NOT CARE if my virus database has been updated.

Basically not a good educational experience today.

Then as if nature was in the same mood as I... enter storms, rain, flood.... and ice cream.
Mother Nature feels better and so do I.

"Hey Murphy, I tried to get to McDonald's earlier but the road was flooded... did you do that?"
"It was pretty wasn't it."
"It was lovely... as was the detour."

Oh look, there goes the weather radio... again.

The effects of being tired or an Ode to ADD

2010-05-19T23:21:00.000-04:00

It has come to my attention that there is a point in the experience of weariness that works like Ritalin for the ADD mind. I haven't seen a shiny squirrel in 30 minutes. There also comes a point in the evolution of the condition...the tired condition...not the ADD, The ADD is pretty static...well if you can call ADD static. OH GOD... I just had a shiny squirrel moment. Where was I?

"You were speaking of clarity."
"Thank you, Murphy."

I am not sure I would say clarity but at least quietness. No racing thoughts, no racing stripes, no racing pulse... no racing. Also no bright ideas, quirky writing or interesting hand motions. Leading me to believe... I have ADD therefore I, as me, am.

So, thank you miss wired brain for making what I am today... (please feel free to fill in the blank)

"Good night ,Murphy."
"Good night ,Sondra."

So Many Rants... So Little Time.

2010-05-18T18:24:00.000-04:00

You ever wake up and everything just pisses you off? Sure, everyone has... but not me today. Today the world seems to have gone out of it's way to yank my chain.

I wake up to Tuesday (I hate Tuesdays anyway) in OH God it is Tuesday mode I start the get everyone off to school rituals, check facebook and then promptly get annoyed.

Now many people would say why did facebook set you off? It is just people making random comments, playing games and being people. You can ignore them, hide them, defriend them... all sorts of things. To which I say something along the lines of... I like these people as rule so I do not wish to defriend or decapitate or what ever you suggested earlier. I would just like to read original ramblings that is all. I hate the copy paste, the my farm is so fun- come farm with me's... or hey wanna go plunderings?

I love seeing what you have been up to, where you have gone, who you love or what you hate... or even if Murphy has visited your doorstep. Do not get me wrong... But to all my Indiana friends, you are not débutantes, we do not have those in Indiana. They have them down south.

To my friends in Georgia, I loved your Fire and Ice bit and I apologize on behalf of my northern friends who tried to steal that for their own. While I do agree that many women share many traits, there are some things that will always belong to southern women exclusively.

Then my beloved WXXC, my morning on the road sanity fix... was channeling the 1970's,the bad part of 1970's music. (because I do love some stuff -just not that bad stuff)... on my drive this morning. I also swear I heard the Bee Gees on my afternoon trip but I wasn't certain so I will not hold that against you. I still love you.

Somewhere between my morning commute and my afternoon commute I entered home buyer hell with the help of our seller... I would like to close on this house soon..... really, I would. I know you are in no hurry but I have a time line I would like to adhere to.... Ok? Help a witch out would ya?

Many other little bits helped along the way too. For instance, the rain, the lack of convertible therapy, a migraine, a bad night (thanks to wakeful dreaming).... a yowling cat, a messy world.... it just goes on and on.

"You only mentioned me once and it wasn't even anything good!"

"I am sorry Murphy. You just didn't have a hand in any of this."

"I am gonna have to step up my game."

"Oh, I know you will."

Murphy, Travel and Radio...

2010-05-12T15:10:00.001-04:00

Yesterday was going to be long, I knew it before it started.... so did Murphy. Some say that I make Murphy what he is by blaming him for normal luck of the draw. I say that Murphy makes me who I am by forcing me outside the box to solve the problems that arise from his mischief.

Yesterday no amount of out of the box thinking was going to help one little bit. An off road vehicle might have though.

Before you all get your cart before your horse.... No accident occurred it was just pure vehicular frustration. The type of frustration caused by people who pull out in front of you and creep up to 48 mph (two miles later) on a two lane, double yellow highway. Isolated, this type of event is a small, momentary irritation but when it occurs all day... it becomes something more. Pair this with hitting every last red light in a day full of driving and we have a perfectly orchestrated Murphypalooza. In other travel news I was not driving my beloved convertible and it was gray and rainy so I am sure you can all imagine how cranky things were by the time I parked for the last time.

I generally use music to soothe my savage soul while driving.... but when your radio station of choice, I will not name names, fades in and out (and not because I was out of range) it is far from soothing. I am sure that someone out there is saying, it was a technical problem and not Murphy's Law. To which I respond with:It may have very well been a normal technical difficulty but the fact it landed on the day I was in Commute Hell, a place I do not normally go.... that throws this squarely at Murphy's feet.

"Thank you for defending me Sondra."

"You are quite welcome Murphy, you did a bang up job. It took convertible therapy, a bunch of caffeine, more than one alcoholic beverage and a hot bath to appease the ire that you provoked yesterday."

"I love a glowing review."

Moving Murphy the Saga Part 1

2010-05-05T13:22:00.000-04:00

"Murphy, meet Poplar Street."

"Poplar Street - Murphy."

"You will be getting to know each other over the coming years. Murphy will help with the painting, the construction, the landscaping, he will even have a hand in the moving I am sure."

"I just love helping. I am a good helper aren't I?"

"Yes, whatever would I do without you? Besides get stuff done, finish projects without yelling, without rescheduling repeatedly....."

Moving Murphy

2010-05-02T23:14:00.000-04:00

Murphy, the computer, the law and the family Murphy hounds are all going to be moving. Not now but very soon. Providing Murphy doesn't muck up the appraisal.

I have begun the purging that comes with any move... out with the unused, unworn, outgrown... you get the idea. I have decided to start with the stored items, those things we believe we cannot live without or only use seasonally that is housed in the untraveled spaces of our homes. In a home as large as the Old Funeral Home... that is a lot of spaces to hide stored items. So I started at the top and after 2 very good days I am not sure I will make it to 3. The reason for that is a big ole pain in the neck... really.

I woke up this morning unable to move my head to the left without grimacing and stretching to loosen the offending muscles. There really is no reason for this. I didn't use my neck to move things. That would be impractical as my neck isn't the best tool for the job. I don't recall sleeping with my head under my wing... there is no reason for it... other than Murphy.

"Why do you blame me for everything?"
"Why not, you are generally behind most of it."
"Oh, yea, that is true, I am very good at my job."
"Yes you are."

Little Nibbles...

2010-04-27T22:29:00.000-04:00

Well, sometimes Murphy just likes to nibble instead of taking out a giant bite. I am so used to the big ole snarly bites that I barely notice the nibbles until someone points out my posts on facebook. It appears that yesterday was a nibblefest.

I have a cute little Nikon Coolpix, it is blue. I love that camera, or rather I loved it more before the menu button ceased functioning. I mean it still pushes in but it just has no effect- no menu comes up, no spiffy options are accessed... zero, zip,zilch ...nada. So now my cute little nikon is a mere blue shadow of it's former self. I am going to try to rough it out until Black Friday... cross your fingers, pray to your deity of choice all that stuff...

Nibble number 2: I was en route to a Girl Scout meeting, yes, among other things I am a Girl Scout. But back to the nibble. Like I said, I was going to a meeting and had a nice time cushion built in for a stop to get supplies... until a train came across the tracks. This is not an unusual occurrence on most tracks but on this particular track it is... I mean it is a functioning train track and trains use it but only a car or two at a time...not a full blown multi car train.... I was late....not by a lot just a nibbles worth.

And now a nibble of the third kind, the water heater kind. Yes Virginia, water heaters are supposed to provide hot water... usually. Usually is a dangerous word. It lulls one into a false sense of security. A false belief that when you turn on that hot water tap and fill your tub that yes, you will soon be enjoying a hot bubbley tub of wonderfulness....WRONG, Virginia, wrong....

There are other nibbles I am sure but like I said before you just don't always notice them...

"I try to be subtle sometimes."
"I think I am just desensitized, Murphy."
"Desensitized?! What kind of word is that?"
"A D word...The dictionary says it is a transitve verb....Hey Murphy, where are you going?"

"Away- far, far away...until I come back for another nibble of course."

Murphy and the shopping experience...

2010-04-16T13:28:00.000-04:00

I am a frustrated shopper.

I sometimes think Huntington's retail experience was designed by Murphy, Then I remember that many people happily buy clothes and shoes in Huntington.

Maybe I am just too damn picky and opinionated. I frequently have a hard time buying stuff because I know exactly what I want and in what fabric and what color.

Fortunately my demands for food and toiletries are easier to fill.

So that leads to the fruitless trip I had yesterday to procure the perfect white tank top. It does not exist in Huntington or Muncie. I have been looking for this tank top for two months. So I remain minus 1 perfect white tank.

I am also short a pair of perfect sandals, perfect suede boots and do not get me started on lingerie.

I do however have the perfect razors, hair products and cereal, so all is not lost.

On my list of summer must haves that I most likely won't find to my satisfaction:
1-5 perfect white tanks (because once you find it - buy multiples and save for a rainy day)
1 pair of brown delicate summer sandals without heel or giant platform
1 pair of blue delicate summer sandals without heel or giant platform... or cutesy crap on it.
1 pair of neutral delicate summer dressier sandals something with a heel.

I know, I know, look online. I don't like to buy shoes or online because I have little narrow feet and most shoes fall off so I have to try them on, feel the leather or fabric, appreciate the lines, the workmanship...It is really like falling in love and since shoes do not have a brain... I have to feel them, see them, want them....need them. The same holds true with clothes... except my tiny narrow feet have no part in it.

"Yes, Murphy, I am aware - I am rambling."
"That dress yesterday was hideous, I am glad you didn't buy it."
"I know! And did you see those pants?!"

Welcome back Murphy... or at least frustration.

2010-04-14T15:37:00.003-04:00

Well, I am not entirely sure I can pass this one off on the Laws of Murphy... but it still has me in need of strong drink - and food. I seem to have forgotten to eat today. I realized that a little bit ago but still don't have time. The reason I don't have time is my old nemesis.

Math.

I hate Math and Math hates me. This is an understood universal truth passed down through the ages. Something goes awry in my brain when faced with numbers and symbols and rules. The information passes through my eyes, makes a swishy run around my brain and passes with amazing speed out my ear. All the while I see stars and birdies. Moments of clarity are rare and leave me mystified.

Now, if you mix my universally accepted disdain for math , my ADD and then stir in my son who also has ADD... you have the recipe for BAAAAAAAAAAAD. MONUMENTALLY BAAAAAAAAAAAAAAD. Brain melting great gobs of confusion. At one point while trying to figure out the volume of a cone... I turned the cone into the demon cone from hell complete with horns. This lightened the mood but did not solve for x... or v or whatever.

So my pretties, in a nut shell, if you need help with choosing a paint color, please call me, I can help. You want a custom coffin for your Halloween party - I am the witch to call. A love spell, of course - no problem.

If you want to find x... look somewhere else.

"I love math, or rather I love that math does my job and I get a vacation."

"I need a drink."

"How about Algebra, Trigonometry, Calculus?"

"NO."

Murphy and housing.

2010-04-13T20:29:00.002-04:00

Well, my pretties, to move or not to move- that is the question. Do I like my current house? Yes, very much. Do I like where it is? The yard? Yes. The place the yard is, not so much.

I do like architectural adventures. My first house as an adult was an -I am not sure what... but it housed us for a few years and then we moved. I think we moved into what might have been a bungalow before people got involved in it's evolution. We then progressed into a much larger Federal style brick which I loved until my husband fell in love with a giant round window in another large brick home. This time a Queen Anne Victorian in a certain amount of cosmetic distress. Beyond the certain amount of distress, bad roof, unfortunately placed kitchen it was perfect. An ex funeral home, what better for a witch and her Halloween obsession.

Did I mention that with each move our personal space has grown... A LOT! From a mere scant apartment in the first house to the giant funeral home tipping the home scale at over 5,000 sq. ft. We have managed to fill each of those square feet.

This is where we still are after almost 12 years. If this house were anywhere but here - and the taxes were a lot friendlier- this would be a no brainer. But alas it is not and that is where my trouble begins.

We have found a sweet little (read 2,400 sq ft and a 2.5 car garage) cottage that is in a certain amount of cosmetic distress. This translates into new flooring and walls mostly, well that and two bathroom updates, a new furnace and central air, a garage scooping and rebuilding... That I could maybe make my own... which I love doing. I am just not sure Grimmy will like it... or where Grimmy will go in it. Or for that matter everything else I have gathered into my life will go.

So for a while, providing Murphy allows, my blog will most likely resemble a chronicle that should be titled "To Move or Not to Move... "

"I need to step my game up if all you are writing about is a house."

"No you do not. Do you remember March?"

"It is in my top ten memories, second only to the May and June extravaganza."

"OH God. I forgot about May and June."

Don't Wanna.

2010-04-09T21:17:00.003-04:00

Tonight's Avoiding Murphy has nothing to do with Murphy and everything to do with Avoidance.

I don't wanna do anything, including employing the use of the words "want to". Have you ever just been in such an apathetic mood you just blatantly avoid all things productive, destructive ...anything really to do with anything ive. With the distinct exception of live.

In a streak of brilliance I avoided dinner by having breakfast.

I am so hell bent on not accomplishing anything that I am going to watch"Lost", thereby avoiding answers.

There is something liberating by accepting your inner, defiant child and just shouting to the universe-"I DON'T WANNA!"

"Hey, Sondra..... really? Avoiding ME? Not possible."

"Improbable most likely but not impossible, not today because today I can just walk awa....."

"GET BACK HERE SONDRA....do you hear me....hey you cannot abandon me like this...who am I going to annoy?"

Better late than never

2010-04-06T22:46:00.002-04:00

Another on the road previously typed Avoiding Murphy. Original date Sunday April 4, 2010

Here we are on the road again… somewhere in Pennsylvania – State road 80 mile marker 25 to be exact.

It was a long and enjoyable time. As far as weekends go it was completely out of the box. Robots competed; our lil machine kicked a lot of bot. We got stuffed into the goal once. Did I mention our bot was little…a little triangle to be exact and it fits easily under the chains and in the goal. Getting out was another story.

We came, we saw and we damn near conquered…. But we will take second place because that is pretty darn cool too.

If anyone gets a chance to visit Hartford, Connecticut be sure to hit the Connecticut Science Center, and a lil Greek restaurant named Tapas… you won’t be disappointed.

“Sorry you couldn’t come on the trip Murphy.”

“Oh, you didn’t see me?”

“No…why?”

“Did you think that other robot got your bot into the goal without a bit of help?”

“Gee Murphy, thanks….”

“J”

MTV killed the video star

2010-03-31T21:57:00.003-04:00

This avoiding Murphy as been pre-recorded... well I wrote it earlier in a van en route to Connecticut.

I was in the shower this morning at dark:30, it was actually 4:30 but I was somewhat cranky about it. But that is neither here nor there and has little to do with the ramblings that are about to ensue.

As I said before I was in the shower listening to the radio when REO Speed Wagon started whining about love gone wrong or something that they whine about. I saw REO once- it was by accident of course because who would go see REO on purpose. They happened to be on the same ticket as Styx and I wanted to see Styx so I had to sit through REO. But the lead singer of REO felt the need to talk to the audience and share with us all the woe that went in to this and that and how his life has changed blah, blah, blah. It wouldn’t have been as bad though if he had been mildly attractive or didn’t have such a horrible whining voice. This experience has stayed with me ever since though and every time I hear REO I think God can that guy just shut up. In the spectrum of rock -REO is a nerd. Fortunately immediately after that painful three minutes Pink Floyd came on and my faith in rock was restored.

Out of the shower I was still in the mood for music for my a.m. entertainment. I turned on the TV and found news and infomercials. It really would be nice if there was a way to bring morning radio to TV. You know what I mean - the music, the banter,the somewhat off color humor, with a tiny side of news, weather and the errant traffic report and pair it with music videos or funky weathermen in odd hats. A party for your ears and your eyes both intent on one thing.-getting your happy ass out the door and into the world alert and capable… ok maybe not capable but at least awake. Then I thought again… Wait, we already tried that once. Remember MTV, well at least when the M stood for music instead of mediocre. I remember the 80’s, sort of, getting ready for school with MTV blasting this VJ or that, watching the newest that Poison or Madonna had to offer, thinking this is the way it should be MTV will live forever!

In retrospect maybe it shouldn’t, so I turned my TV off and turned on the radio….

MTV killed the video star... At least there are still videos on the internet.

"HEY!! I didn't even get a mention today!"

"I gave ya the day off Murphy, you worked really hard last week."

"I did out do myself didn't I?"

Sometimes you can't avoid Murphy.

2010-03-24T10:01:00.002-04:00

Sometimes Murphy bashes ya right up side the head. Sure he starts out with playful batting - spilled drinks, burnt butter, the inablitiy to find the other shoe, the entire can of enchilada sause on the floor... you know, that kind of stuff.

Then He steps up his game.

"I am so glad you noticed all my hard work."

"Oh, Murphy dear, how could I not notice. I had to clean all the messes up. The enchildad sauce off the counter when I walked away was a touch of genius."

"I was just warming up for this morning. Did you enjoy the phone call?"

"ARRRRRRrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrtgggggggggggggggggggggh."

Long story short - Grand Ams and semi-trucks do not play well together.

"Hehehehehe, I am a genius, heheheheheh"

"Go away Murphy, I am not happy with you right now."

Gee, thanks Murphy.

2010-02-27T17:54:00.003-05:00

Well it seems Murphy decided that I was not nearly damp or sticky enough this week... get your heads out of the gutter folks, I am talking about pop, soda or what ever you call sugary or unsugary, carbonated fizzy goodness.

The shower of sticky started early on Thursday morning delivered by a faulty lidded cup. I was driving along, minding my own business, listening to the radio when I hear Murphy snicker. But it was early in the morning and I am not a morning person that translates to dense... so I picked the cup up any way - splat, the cup falls, sploosh the diet 7-up goes all over my now fully awake self.

"UUuuugh, MURPHY!"

"He, hehehee...ha."

Fast forward to Friday afternoon. Returning from a short trip down the street where I procured four 2 liters of sticky beverages from hell. Yes, my friends these four bottles made it out of the store and into the car in one piece only to betray me in the garage. I was unloading the bags onto the garage floor when one fell over.

"Hey, Sondra, Watch this!"

"Watch what? Hey, what is that sound?"

That sound was a bottle of Coke...that somewhere from the standing to tipping over had decided to rupture. Insert scene of rushing to remove the offending bottle from the scene. It was not pretty, it would not have scored well in the Olympics and frankly I want to forget about it.

"STOP LAUGHING MURPHY!"

I try to salvage the rest of the unpacking by removing the last bag from the car....when the bottom of the bag gives out depositing two 2 liters and a can of tomato juice onto the wet, sticky ground where they decide it would be fun to roll under the car...

"STOP LAUGHING!!"

I am happy to announce my survival of the day thus far with not sticky, gooey adventures.

"SHUT UP MURPHY!"

Murphy goes VROOMMMmmmm

2010-02-24T21:38:00.002-05:00

Yes, I confess, I got a speeding ticket. I know- no surprise, the surprise came later when I paid my ticket. The total cost for the ticket was $134.50, also no surprise. There really wasn't anything available under the $124.50 price tag unless you are lucky enough to have not put on your seatbelt. Then you get out of there for a mere $25.

Here is the fun part though. When I went to the Gas City court house, which by the way is at 211 East Main Street, not 511 East Main Street. I thought the 2 was a 5... imagine my surprise when I found a house and not a court house but I digress. When I finally find the court house I hand the clerk my ticket and a money order and she hands me back a reciept. (This is where the fun begins) It was an itemized list. I came close to bursting out in laughter when I read it.

Please note I paid my ticket without having a "trial".

Here you take a look-

State court costs 38.50

County court costs 14.00

City court costs 17.50 - I was in the country

Infraction Judgement 20.00 -What it actually costs to drive 12 miles an hour over the posted limit.

Law enf cont ed fee 4.00 -I am not taking the class

Hwy work zone fee .50

Jury fee 2.00 - what jury?

Auto record Keeping fee 7.00 - ok I get this one

Document storage fee 2.00 - agreed those need stored

Judicial ins adjust fee 1.00 - HUH?

St-Judicial salary fee 13.00- I saw no judge

Co judicial Salary fee 5.00 - still no judge

Court Admin fee 5.00 - the nice lady behind the glass

DNA sample fee 2.00- I didn't see a q-tip.

Public defense admin fee 3.00- nope no lawyer

to a grand total of $134.50

Total I think I used - $86.50

I don't think Murphy was involved in this one... but geesh.... They could have at least given me a cookie or a sticker or something.

It's been a long time Murphy.

2010-02-16T19:57:00.003-05:00

Well my pretties, it has been a while. I have survived 2 more computer builds, one of which was one for the Murphy Tales....

Thanks to a hidden Sata setting in bios, I was delayed a bout 9 days or so from getting Galileo up and windowing. He would post but no go on the windows install. A slip stream xp sp 3 and a bios search later install went without a hitch.

Einstein went without a hitch and the Plato re formate went swimmingly.

This brings me to the Murphy du jour, my car. Or rather my car's thermostat.

I have been driving around in a car with little to no heat since last Thursday... well that can wait right... not so much. Because today the heat returned... and so did an overheated car. This could not happen in my quite little town, nay, because Murphy has more skill than that. This occurred in Upland, a mere 35 miles away.

So on the cell I go... Hey, my car is doing this that and the other. Ok, get a someone to follow you home and nurse it.

"Hey Gracie- come to Upland, my car is stupid."

"OK, I will google map it and be there in about 45 minutes.

Tick Tock, Tick TOcK, TICK TOCK....insert evil Murphy giggles here.

Bing bong bong bing bing bing bing....(my cell ring tone is the Super Mario song)

"Where am I?"

"I dunno, where are you?"

"Google maps said...I hate Google Maps."

Insert lost Gracie scenario....

TicK TOCK TIck Tock....you know the drill

Car is now cooled down enough to open the radiator cap and have water put in... Gracie arrives and we begin to "Nurse" the Sebring home....

We pull in the to the Gas station to put much needed gas in Gracie's car and much needed caffeine into me and we head back out.... Gracie heads out first.

Ok, I guess she knows how to get home... WRONG... she misses the turn... I turn and wait, praying my car does not do a repeat of the over heat.... ticK TOck...

Oh there she is.... we start back up State Road 5 to Warren .... with heat... and cool all the way.

3 hours later I return home.

"Gee, Nice to see ya Murphy, it was kind of cold and snowy today wasn't it"

"Yes, I hoped you would enjoy the weather... and wasn't the heat nice too?"

"MURPHY!! I didn't want that kind of heat"

"Beggars can't be choosers."

Fortunately though a side note. I have lovely hosts for my waiting and no waiting was done in the cold. Take that Murphy.

When it rains...

2009-10-08T11:50:00.002-04:00

Did you ever have one of those weeks? A time when Murphy takes tiny little nibbles out of your spirit... nothing major, nothing tragic....JUST ANNOYING AS HELL... and it makes you tired.

I cannot even name anything specific. I am sitting here searching my memory.(It is a rather faulty memory. I have a bad internal filing system, or I need a defrag or something)

But I remember this incident...only because it happened a few hours ago. The inability to start my car. This alone is a not a contestant in the talent show of Murphy. It is just life. But if you pair it with my morning it all comes together to form a pretty nifty show.

I woke up at 4:30 am with a head ache and a sinus throbbing to some alien melody that I can only assume was composed to annoy me. I grumbled out of bed 90 mind numbing yet still painful minutes later to wake my son for school. I tripped over the black cat in the dark hall on the way. I propelled the youngest toward the shower and moved to the kitchen (tripping over the yellow cat en route) to pack a lunch. Guess what. I didn't run the dishwasher. That translated into failing to have the required parts for the packing of the lunch. No biggie, I hand washed necessary bits. If you discount the fact we were running 5 minutes behind for the next 45 minutes things were moving pretty smoothly. Until I get to the car.

Key in ignition ....click, click, click.

"OH HELL , Hi Murphy,"

"Good Morning, thought I would say HI."

"Please feel free to remain silent the rest of the day."

I have been a bad bad blogger.

2009-10-04T13:43:00.004-04:00

Well, as we all know or as we do not know but will now find out... I mostly blog when I encounter one of 3 situations.

1. Someone, something or some place really yanks my chain.

2. Murphy's Law slams me hard against a concrete wall in the rain.

3. I remember I have a blog and I haven't written in it in AGES. I feel repentant and try to give up my evil ways.

I have not had my chain yanked overly hard. Well that is not true but the yanker got an earful so that saves you, my gentle blog readers, the wrath of the witch.

Murphy has been mild really. I have been thwarted by detours, slowed by miswritten code, redesigned my costume 4 times(think wardrobe malfunciton) before arriving at a solution (that has yet to be tested). My big purple spider is being testy requiring, I hope, a new fuse. My purple light strands are going on strike, well half the string is at least. But those things are all just life in the land of Oz... or Warren.

The school system is leaving me alone therefore I will leave them alone. Garrett has his own set of Laws that leaves Murphy jealous. The laws of Garrett must be ridden like a whitewater raft...in a river raging above flood stage...over monsterous rocks. Wear your life jacket and you will most likely survive... unless you don't.

So my pretties I leave you with this...

"Waaaaaaaaaait just a minute there missy!"

"ce qui ?"

"Did you just call me a wimp?!"

"Nooooo, I was saying that you are a very good room mate right now."

"Well, you just watch out when you are on the roof putting up that big tangly spider...."

Was that a threat?

I am too tired for Murphy...

2009-09-10T15:09:00.002-04:00

ZZZZZ.....zzzz... Yes, that is me sleep typing. I have been working on my new website, teaching myself new programs along the way. Well somewhere along the way my lovely daughter brought me home the gift of an upset stomach and no energy. Thanks Gracie! AAAAAAAnnnny way.

Murphy my computer is chomping on like a champ and nothing overly untoward has happend with Murphy of the law persuasion. Not the same can be said about the rabid political loonies left and right....but I am not a political beast and this is not the blog for that.

Now don't think that means things are smooth sailing...oh nay. I have erroneously deleted, not saved and paid the prices... I have dropped things, smashed my toes, fingers, head other things. I blew up a usb hub, ran out of ink mid print, forgot stuff at the store... stuff like that. But knock on wood, Murphy is giving me a short break.

My busy Halloween season is starting up though so I am sure Murphy will have much to say on that topic very soon.

"Hey Sondra..."

"Yes, Murphy?"

"You are rambling."

"I know, I do that when I am tired."

"Say good-bye, Sondra"

"Good-bye Sondra"

Murphy and addresses

2009-08-27T14:57:00.002-04:00

Well, there are times when I think Murphy works for the US Post Office, Fedex and UPS.... why because I wanted to upgrade a phone today. That part was easy. Log in, pick out, renew contract... check out and sh....oh wait right there ducky.... your address doesn't exits.

"HUH? I am sitting in the address at the moment and I am pretty damn sure it exists.!"

"Nope... you are not on my list."

"I don't care... I want that damn phone.!"

"Call this number, wait four years and maybe if I am in a good mood, I will pretend your address exists."

"Gee thanks."

So three phone calls, two hours... and a new phone is on the way....

Does my ear look flat to you?

Murphy's Law the soaked edition

2009-08-18T10:50:00.002-04:00

Well it is refreshing to be Murphed by something other than my computer for a change. I had been working late last night. I had to finish reformatting my dads laptop and had a ton of design work to catch up on now that Murphy 3.0 (my studio computer) is up running and strong as an ox.

So at 11:30 last night just prior to a monsoon style rain storm I decided it was a good time to head home. My car had other ideas. Since home is only a few blocks away I decided to secure the crap in the car and walk ... thinking I will just walk to work in the slight rain and jump it tomorrow in the sun.

"Wrong again Grasshopper."
"Be quiet Murphy and let me tell this story."

So I proceed down the street and someone, I am not going to point fingers here, let the water out of the sky in a rush. I am talking get the boat Ethel. I am committed at this point... is as far to work as it is the house....

It is a good thing witches don't really melt when they get wet.

"Stop laughing Murphy!"

Not a Murphy driven blog today.

2009-08-10T15:48:00.002-04:00

Well my pretties,

This morning I logged into Facebook and while tending my farm I was greeted with and ad that said something like Moms like virtual coffee shops or some nonsense for a coffee shop game. Now under the best of circumstances I would just ignore a coffee shop game but if you insult me by thinking I will do something because I am a mother well then...baby you really missed your marketing mark there. I do not define myself as a mother. I am a woman who happens to be many things including a mother. Since I gave birth to my first child I have worked hard to stay true to who I am as a person... that makes me a stronger woman thus making me a more capable mother.

I am not saying that I do not take my job as a parent seriously... And by no way am I down playing the work it requires to be a mother. God knows when my kids were little I had blessed little time for anything but being a mother. Those lil buggers take a lot of work.

But for the love of all things take out.... give us the dignity we deserve...we do not play a game, drive a vehicle or buy certain clothing because we are mothers. (unless you consider nursing bras) I do not listen to or watch anything because I have children. I do not read things (anymore) because I have children... I happen to like Dr. Suess and Spongebob for their own merits.

I can give advice, perform certain tasks and have super human skills because I have been a mother. Contrary to popular belief I have not sprouted eyes on the back of my head but I do have a sophisticated spy network. I am less naive and more jaded. I am more forgiving but a far more deadly. I cannot jump tall buildings, I cannot see through brick walls or walk on water. I can produce a posterboard from my closet, have crayons appear out of nowhere and make dinner out of a somewhat bare kitchen.

So don't get me wrong, I am a MOM but that is not WHO I am.

So thank you kindly facebook for reminding me this morning of WHO I am.

"Hey Murphy, should I tell them about the McDonald's cup that fell out of the cup holder this afternoon?"

"Nah, we will keep that our little secret."

It's been a few days huh....

2009-08-08T13:29:00.002-04:00

Well my pretties, not much to report really. Murphy as in the computer is patiently awaiting parts so not too much in the way of Murphy on Murphy these days. I did have a rather Murphyesque moment last night though.

I have been using my gas grill a lot lately... less heat in the house you know how it goes. Well it was a lil drizzly last night so I decided to place the grill near the garage so I could sit inside the garage while it cooked... well. If you know my house you know the house sits atop the garage. You will see the importance of that particular feature very soon.

Any way I was grilling hamburgers, reading a book when my daughter comes down to see what was on fire.

"Huh, no... why?"

"Well," she says. "There is smoke all over the house.... you can't even see the bowflex."

The bowflex sits in a room directly above the garage. It has a vent that runs from the garage. It appears that the smoke from the grill used the garage and vent as a freeway into the house....

My house now smells like grilled hamburgers...

In other grilling news... when you use hamburger that has some fat in it... it makes for GREAT GOBS of flames. I usually use almost no fat ground beef so this was somewhat forgotten and unexpected.

I was trying to flip the hamburgers and it really was a lot like saving children from a fire.... damn it was hot... there was one casualty.

"Hey Murphy, ya want a hamburger?"

"MMMMMM charcole burger."

And back in pieces... again

2009-08-04T22:41:00.002-04:00

My computer, Murphy, is in pieces again... his normal state since 6/01/09 mind you. But the end is in sight... I think. His processor wasn't processing and his motherboard disowned it. So the processor went back to it's maker in california and the motherboard is going to be vacationing in illinois and coming back a new woman... I hope.

While I am a bit shadowy, I am not terribly murphied so all is well my pretties, in pieces and pensive but well.

"Hey Murphy, HI."

"Hey Sondra, take a break."

"Thanks."

Murphy had a busy weekend...

2009-08-03T14:11:00.003-04:00

Well, it is nice to know I am not the only person Murphy hounds. It sucks to be the other folks but hey. I spent the weekend at IRI for those not entrenched with robotics, IRI is an off season event for the kids who build robots for FIRST... google it. Murphy visited a lot of FRC teams this weekend. Murphy however got back on my case today though... well last night. It is hard to finish grilling dinner when you run out of gas on your grill... oh well.

In other Murphy the computer related news... we are getting closer to an answer maybe.... maybe.

So my pretties, know that I love you all ...even those poor souls who Murphy visits when he isn't living with me.

"But geesh Murph... can you leave my dinner alone?"

"Nope, You are free game 24-7."

"Great."

A new day... a new leaf?

2009-07-28T15:09:00.002-04:00

Well... today at work I opened Pandora Radio and you would have thought I had opened Pandora's box instead... except the only thing that got out was my need for creative change. I am considering a complete creative overhaul. Change of studio name, change of logo, website, URL ... the whole enchilada... well no I still like those the same way. Cheese and onion with a lovey dark red sauce.

So where to start... studio name of course. This where it could go very right or go very very wrong.

If you had it do ... what would you do?

Oh well who knows, maybe tomorrow I will wake up and want to be a snake charmer. Wouldn't Murphy have a grand time with that!

Quiet ... eerily so...

2009-07-27T13:13:00.002-04:00

I had a nice quiet unmurphylike weekend. Saturday started with a trip to the 4h fair to see how Garrett's project faired... he did well. He walked away with county Champion for is photoshop project. Next step Indiana State fair! Then I went with part of my extended family to help my cousin pick out her wedding dress -another uneventful event. Then rounded out the day with groceries and a quiet evening at home... no death, no chaos, no disaster. Sunday ... just chilled around the house, no unexpected explosions, no deaths of electronics... wow.

Monday has started out mild with no Murphy sightings or warnings announced.

Here is hoping that you had a similarly unmurphylike weekend!

"Hey Murphy, thanks!"

"You are welcome; I was a little lazy this weekend. See ya soon though!"

Sometimes, there is no avoiding Murphy.

2009-07-23T17:59:00.006-04:00

Ding Dong... Murphy Calling...

Last night at 9pm... I am in my studio helping my to son finish covering his 4h project. A spiffy photoshop project of two of his pictures put into one impressive piece if I may say so myself.... look for your self.

please note the blogged cropped the far right side clean off...lol

while I was sticking his record sheet to the back... Murphy came banging on my door with both fists.

BANG BANG... "HEY SONDRA!!"

"What?"

"Turn on your computer... the one you named after me!...hehehhe"

"Why?"

"Just do it. I dare you."

"OK."

I turn the power button on... and it fires up, fans whirl, lights on the board come on .... and ... wait for it.....

NOTHING... thats right my pretties, NOTHING. No post. do not pass go, do not go to boot, do NOTHING.

"Damn you Murphy... both of you."

Dear MSI, My computer won't post again... I did this that and the other... Sondra

Dear Sondra, Oh sucks to be you. did you try, try and that?... If you have you can return it to your retailer or obtain an RMA from us. Sincerely, MSI.

"Sigh, not again.... Dear MSI User Forums.... this that and the other and this is what I have and what it is doing... please and thank you Icey. ( I don't use my real name on forums, but Ice is like my alter ego name so I answer to it easily)

Dear Icey, Hi wow, that does suck, I think you need a bigger scarier power supply. you're welcome... a geek

Dear Icey, Hi. I concur you need a really scary psu... good luck, another geek

Dear Icey...Your PSU sucks, get a corsair.... yet another geek guy.

Dear Geek Guys, thanks... but how big? Icey.

I still wait.

In other news, my son is having a great day. After we wake up at an ungoldly hour and toddle into town for Experimental Photography judging.... and a mcdonalds to go breakfast... healthy baby healthy...but at 6 am it is ritual. at 9:15 am he leaves Experimental Photography judging with a prelimnary grade of Blue with honors, in other words contention for champion! GO GARRETT!!

In more news... this just in...

MURPHY...you SUCK! - Both of you.

Love, Icey.

Fries vs. Chips and I am not talking abouty Ruffles...

2009-07-22T12:54:00.003-04:00

Yesterday... I think it was yesterday I had a rather interesting conversation with a rather interesting Brit. We were discussing -according to him- America's obsession of renaming things already named with good solid British names.

It started with why do you Americans call "Chips" - "Fries"? Well after some discussion and bantering I told him it was over something some French guy did in 1840 when he stuffed potatoes into hot oil and Voila "French Fried Potatoes."

Then it progressed into "Flats" vs. "Apartments"... he said flats are all on one floor... hence flat. I said what if they are multi level... he said those are Chalets... oh. I tried my logic, apartments are compartments set apart in a structure hence Apartments... it did not fly with him... it was a draw on flat/apartment.

I gained the advantage on "Jumper" vs. "Sweater". There was no argument only the concession that yup "Sweater" makes way more sense.

The jury is out on "Knickers" vs. "Panty" though because I used the argument that knickers were a hold over from the Victorian era and panties are a more modern garment. We are waiting on my friend’s mother to weigh in on this one as according to him his mother was around then.

We did decide this though, if you are ever in Australia... go ahead and order the Chook, it tastes just like chicken...

"Hey Murphy where were you yesterday?"

"Oh, I thought I would give you a rest. You looked awfully tired."

"Gee, thanks Murphy..." <--- sarcasm

"It's ok I know how you old people wear out."

<---- my reaction to Murphy.

One Word... MOUSE!!

2009-07-20T16:36:00.002-04:00

Crash, rustle, ..... huh? Rustle.... ZOOOOOOM!

"Murphy?"

"Yes Sondra?"

"Is that a mouse?"

"Yes, do you like it?"

"Not really."

"I was hoping you would enjoy getting rid of it."

"Murphy, why do you follow me around?"

"Because it is fun!!"

"Well as long as you are having a good time..."

Famous Last Words.

2009-07-20T12:15:00.002-04:00

Happy Monday... and no that is not a joke. Sometimes you have to force Monday's hand and make it happy.

Remember yesterday. Remember yesterday when I declared that Murphy was on vacation? He was not. He was in the basement draining the life out of my car battery.

Then he tra la la’d his way over to my studio and messed with my flash drive thereby taking what should have been simple project and turning into a three hour fiasco. But never fear I persevered and lived to be plagued another day,

In other news… the sun is shining. You cannot go wrong with sunshine and blue skies unless of course you are me.

Live well my pretties and beware of Murphy.

Shhh Murphy must be sleeping.

2009-07-19T15:45:00.002-04:00

Another day another well...day. I woke up dry in my own bed. I say this only because there were a couple times in the not so distant past that I woke up less than dry due to a tiny pinhole leak in my nicely baffled waterbed. What I am trying to say is that I woke up and Murphy, the law not my computer, was no where to be found. This sometimes worries me but I will take it as what it is-a gift of a day that may just come off without a hitch.

As of this moment I have watched a movie without the satellite going out. I have done a couple loads of laundry without the washing machine breaking. Granted the dryer is making an odd noise but let's not dwell on this. I made lunch and consumed it without wearing it, without breaking the microwave or stepping in a puddle o'water. It is nearing 4 pm and not glimmer of Murphy. It makes me wonder ... Does Murphy's Law take a day off or a vacation and if so where does he go?

Welcome to Avoiding Murphy...

2009-07-18T17:30:00.006-04:00

For anyone who knows me... virtually, 3 dimensionally or through the powers of rumor the topic of this blog will not come as a surprise. I have a gift... or a curse. I can undertake the simplest of tasks and 7 times out of 10 they will go a stray. Either the item is magically no longer available. The part has mysteriously become a toaster when a toaster is not what it started out as. You get the idea.

Recently I had the misfortune of experiencing June. Under normal circumstances June is a lovely time. Under the reign of Murphy's Law... not so much. I started June with a working laptop, a working desktop ( also called Murphy, this computer you will come to know well) and day camp looming in my future.... sprinkle in a new cell phone for my eldest, vacation plans... life in general.

Most of June’s foibles are lost in the debacle that is known as my computers. I love my computers, I live on my computers, my friends live in my computers....My work, my art, my sanity are in my computers. I build, I tweak and I make them my own... and sometimes that does bite me in the ass but it is not always my fault... Murphy sometimes has a hand in it.

Starts out Murphy the computer starts glitching and freezing and causing mischief. So I venture a guess and think video card. So I research video cards, find one I want then bid on one via EBAY... YAY I win. ooh hell ... Murphy strikes again... a seller with 100% bails on all orders. Into Ebay arbitration goes, refund... restart. I find a better video card on Ebay... WIN... YAY... Wait...

In preparation for the new video card i have ordered 1 more gig of memory checking to make sure it was a match for my old memory and my board...blah blah...

VIDEO CARD ARRIVES!!!! Murphy the computer to be updated! I put it all together... memory, video card and it doesn't work. OH HELL. I piddle around and the next thing I know....

I said "Oh man is that my mother board smoking?"

"Why," Murphy's Law said. "Yes it is."

Oh Hell. So off I toddle to NewEgg, a great lil company, to purchase a new motheboard and processor. When the box arrives I am so pumped.... I put Murphy 2.7 together and hit power on.. it posts, it boots it lives for 5 days... VGA error. I remove video card, I clear cmos blah, blah, blah.

Dear Newegg, my mother board is dead, I just got it, Biostar says send it back. Sincerely, Sondra

Dear Sondra, Is all good send it back here is the paid shipping label. Sincerely, Newegg.

Dear Newegg, I love you. Sondra

It was not played out like that I called them but basically that is how it transpired.

My laptop begins having video display issues I figure just loose wires so I toddle the duck up to Stone Computer's say fix me...not exactly that but you get the idea.

Anyhow five days later I get a phone call... “Well, the wires are loose on both sides of the unit and oh by the way the inverter is bad. It is not really worth fixing.”

Sigh... Not good.

So I said, “Nah, just put the duck back together I will get it picked up next week. I will just use it until it dies.”

“Too late,” they said. “ It is all black now.”

OH HELL...

“Well just put it back together.”

I am now without a computer. I have NONE. Sure the family has a few but still my personal babies are defunct, missing, out of commission. I suffer deep depression, I suffer withdrawal.

I pick up the laptop and stick it on a CRT monitor... yea that is styling. I will get a new one eventually.

A few days later Biostar 2 arrived on my door. I excitedly put it together. I start it- posts; it boots no reformatting - nothing – YAY!

I shut it down and restart and it freezes...hmmm. I restart again...it freezes sooner. I restart the third time.... NOTHING. HUH?

"Hi Sondra,"

"Hi Murphy, it is nice to see you. NOT."

I rest cmos, I give up.

Dear Newegg, I still love you but I am sick of Biostar I want to send it back. Sincerely, Sondra

Dear Sondra, OK, you know the drill. Sincerely, Newegg.

(once again this is not what really happened but close)

I surrender Biostar go suck an egg I am getting an MSI.

I toddle off to tiger direct, I still love you Newegg, and order a spiffy MSI motherboard no onboard graphics because ya know I still have that spiffy new firegl 7200 sitting in a box. I order on a Monday and that sucker is on my doorstep Tuesday afternoon and you know I am gonna put that sucker together.

I take my time, I am very cautious. I make sure my t's are crossed my i's are dotted...blah blah blah. I power up and fans whirl lights flash... but wait... no posting... wait... not all the LEDs are green only half ... wait what does that mean? I search the manual; I search the net... no clue.

I am afraid to look for Murphy because I know he is giggling in the closet because I can hear him in there.

“SNICKER, SNICKER.”

Dear MSI, What is the LED code legend? Sincerely, Sondra

Dear Sondra, Fill out the form. MSI

Dear MSI, Here is the form. What is the legend for the LED lights? Sincerely, Sondra

I go home demoralized.

NEXT DAY

Dear Sondra, do this, do that, check this, check that. MSI

Dear MSI, BITE ME, Sondra

I take it apart

I remove the spiffy video card *cries*

I take out the new memory.

I put in the old vid card because there is no onboard video.

Reboot

LIFE

POST

YAY....

I take the old video card out and say what if and put in the new spiffy video card...

Reboot

LIFE

POST...

YAY!!!!

Damn new memory.

Windows install baby!!

Take that Murphy’s Law.