When it rains...

Did you ever have one of those weeks? A time when Murphy takes tiny little nibbles out of your spirit... nothing major, nothing tragic....JUST ANNOYING AS HELL... and it makes you tired.

I cannot even name anything specific. I am sitting here searching my memory.(It is a rather faulty memory. I have a bad internal filing system, or I need a defrag or something)

But I remember this incident...only because it happened a few hours ago. The inability to start my car. This alone is a not a contestant in the talent show of Murphy. It is just life. But if you pair it with my morning it all comes together to form a pretty nifty show.

I woke up at 4:30 am with a head ache and a sinus throbbing to some alien melody that I can only assume was composed to annoy me. I grumbled out of bed 90 mind numbing yet still painful minutes later to wake my son for school. I tripped over the black cat in the dark hall on the way. I propelled the youngest toward the shower and moved to the kitchen (tripping over the yellow cat en route) to pack a lunch. Guess what. I didn't run the dishwasher. That translated into failing to have the required parts for the packing of the lunch. No biggie, I hand washed necessary bits. If you discount the fact we were running 5 minutes behind for the next 45 minutes things were moving pretty smoothly. Until I get to the car.

Key in ignition ....click, click, click.

"OH HELL , Hi Murphy,"

"Good Morning, thought I would say HI."

"Please feel free to remain silent the rest of the day."

I have been a bad bad blogger.

Well, as we all know or as we do not know but will now find out... I mostly blog when I encounter one of 3 situations.

1. Someone, something or some place really yanks my chain.

2. Murphy's Law slams me hard against a concrete wall in the rain.

3. I remember I have a blog and I haven't written in it in AGES. I feel repentant and try to give up my evil ways.

I have not had my chain yanked overly hard. Well that is not true but the yanker got an earful so that saves you, my gentle blog readers, the wrath of the witch.

Murphy has been mild really. I have been thwarted by detours, slowed by miswritten code, redesigned my costume 4 times(think wardrobe malfunciton) before arriving at a solution (that has yet to be tested). My big purple spider is being testy requiring, I hope, a new fuse. My purple light strands are going on strike, well half the string is at least. But those things are all just life in the land of Oz... or Warren.

The school system is leaving me alone therefore I will leave them alone. Garrett has his own set of Laws that leaves Murphy jealous. The laws of Garrett must be ridden like a whitewater raft...in a river raging above flood stage...over monsterous rocks. Wear your life jacket and you will most likely survive... unless you don't.

So my pretties I leave you with this...

"Waaaaaaaaaait just a minute there missy!"

"ce qui ?"

"Did you just call me a wimp?!"

"Nooooo, I was saying that you are a very good room mate right now."

"Well, you just watch out when you are on the roof putting up that big tangly spider...."

Was that a threat?

I am too tired for Murphy...

ZZZZZ.....zzzz... Yes, that is me sleep typing. I have been working on my new website, teaching myself new programs along the way. Well somewhere along the way my lovely daughter brought me home the gift of an upset stomach and no energy. Thanks Gracie! AAAAAAAnnnny way.

Murphy my computer is chomping on like a champ and nothing overly untoward has happend with Murphy of the law persuasion. Not the same can be said about the rabid political loonies left and right....but I am not a political beast and this is not the blog for that.

Now don't think that means things are smooth sailing...oh nay. I have erroneously deleted, not saved and paid the prices... I have dropped things, smashed my toes, fingers, head other things. I blew up a usb hub, ran out of ink mid print, forgot stuff at the store... stuff like that. But knock on wood, Murphy is giving me a short break.

My busy Halloween season is starting up though so I am sure Murphy will have much to say on that topic very soon.

"Hey Sondra..."

"Yes, Murphy?"

"You are rambling."

"I know, I do that when I am tired."

"Say good-bye, Sondra"

"Good-bye Sondra"

Murphy and addresses

Well, there are times when I think Murphy works for the US Post Office, Fedex and UPS.... why because I wanted to upgrade a phone today. That part was easy. Log in, pick out, renew contract... check out and sh....oh wait right there ducky.... your address doesn't exits.

"HUH? I am sitting in the address at the moment and I am pretty damn sure it exists.!"

"Nope... you are not on my list."

"I don't care... I want that damn phone.!"

"Call this number, wait four years and maybe if I am in a good mood, I will pretend your address exists."

"Gee thanks."

So three phone calls, two hours... and a new phone is on the way....

Does my ear look flat to you?

Murphy's Law the soaked edition

Well it is refreshing to be Murphed by something other than my computer for a change. I had been working late last night. I had to finish reformatting my dads laptop and had a ton of design work to catch up on now that Murphy 3.0 (my studio computer) is up running and strong as an ox.

So at 11:30 last night just prior to a monsoon style rain storm I decided it was a good time to head home. My car had other ideas. Since home is only a few blocks away I decided to secure the crap in the car and walk ... thinking I will just walk to work in the slight rain and jump it tomorrow in the sun.

"Wrong again Grasshopper."
"Be quiet Murphy and let me tell this story."

So I proceed down the street and someone, I am not going to point fingers here, let the water out of the sky in a rush. I am talking get the boat Ethel. I am committed at this point... is as far to work as it is the house....

It is a good thing witches don't really melt when they get wet.

"Stop laughing Murphy!"

Not a Murphy driven blog today.

Well my pretties,

This morning I logged into Facebook and while tending my farm I was greeted with and ad that said something like Moms like virtual coffee shops or some nonsense for a coffee shop game. Now under the best of circumstances I would just ignore a coffee shop game but if you insult me by thinking I will do something because I am a mother well then...baby you really missed your marketing mark there.  I do not define myself as a mother.  I am a woman who happens to be many things including a mother.  Since I gave birth to my first child I have worked hard to stay true to who I am as a person... that makes me a stronger woman thus making me a more capable mother.

I am not saying that I do not take my job as a parent seriously... And by no way am I down playing the work it requires to be a mother. God knows when my kids were little I had blessed little time for anything but being a mother.  Those lil buggers take a lot of work.

But for the love of all things take out.... give us the dignity we deserve...we do not play a game, drive a vehicle or buy certain clothing because we are mothers. (unless you consider nursing bras) I do not listen to or watch anything because I have children.  I do not read things (anymore) because I have children... I happen to like Dr. Suess and Spongebob for their own merits.

I can give advice, perform certain tasks and have super human skills because I have been a mother.  Contrary to popular belief I have not sprouted eyes on the back of my head but I do have a sophisticated spy network.  I am less naive and more jaded.  I am more forgiving but a far more deadly.  I cannot jump tall buildings, I cannot see through brick walls or walk on water.  I can produce a posterboard from my closet, have crayons appear out of nowhere and make dinner out of a somewhat bare kitchen.  

So don't get me wrong, I am a MOM but that is not WHO I am.

So thank you kindly facebook for reminding me this morning of WHO I am.

"Hey Murphy, should I tell them about the McDonald's cup that fell out of the cup holder this afternoon?"

"Nah, we will keep that our little secret."

It's been a few days huh....

Well my pretties, not much to report really.  Murphy as in the computer is patiently awaiting parts so not too much in the way of Murphy on Murphy these days.  I did have a rather Murphyesque moment last night though.

I have been using my gas grill a lot lately... less heat in the house you know how it goes.  Well it was a lil drizzly last night so I decided to place the grill near the garage so I could sit inside the garage while it cooked... well.  If you know my house you know the house sits atop the garage.  You will see the importance of that particular feature very soon.  

Any way I was grilling hamburgers, reading a book when my daughter comes down to see what was on fire.  

"Huh, no... why?"

"Well," she says. "There is smoke all over the house.... you can't even see the bowflex."

The bowflex sits in a room directly above the garage.  It has a vent that runs from the garage. It appears that the smoke from the grill used the garage and vent as a freeway into the house.... 

My house now smells like grilled hamburgers... 

In other grilling news... when you use hamburger that has some fat in it... it makes for GREAT GOBS of flames.  I usually use almost no fat ground beef so this was somewhat forgotten and unexpected.  

I was trying to flip the hamburgers and it really was a lot like saving children from a fire.... damn it was hot... there was one casualty.

"Hey Murphy, ya want a hamburger?"

"MMMMMM charcole burger."